Story writing (and the perils therein)….

I had an email yesterday from someone who I shall call ‘J’. He said he very much liked my long stories: Owned, Everything Has a Price, Out of Your Hands, etc… and asked if/when I would be doing another really long and involved story like those.
Well, of course I would love to write another multi-chapter story like that again, but it’s not that easy. Firstly, it’s simply a matter of having the time. It takes a huge amount of time to write those stories,and if you’ve never done it yourself you just wouldn’t believe how time consuming creative writing (and indeed most creative endeavours) can be.
Secondly for those kind of stories you really need a story worth telling, and it has to be more involved and involving to justify the length. I recently concocted a pretty detailed story outline in my head over the course of several days, but because I’m too lazy/stupid (you choose) I neglected to write it down and now I can’t remember a damned word of it. Which is incredibly annoying, cos all I can remember was that it was a really good idea!
There is another element to this as well, which was far more unexpected and actually quite bizarre really. I can’t remember which story it was that I was writing, but I think it might have been ‘Everything Has a Price’… and I got so completely absorbed into the creative process that I actually became almost resentful (takes a deep breath, because I don’t think I’ve ever actually confronted this before) that my life with Mistress R wasn’t living up to the fantasy that I was writing.
I know in the cold light of day that sounds completely fucking ridiculous, but I was so absorbed in what I was writing that logic went out of the window. And it wasn’t like I was actually sitting there thinking about it, in fact it didn’t really occur to me why I was in such a bad mood all the time until I’d actually finished it and some level of normalcy was resumed.
It would make sense that it was ‘Everything Has a Price’ because that was the last long story that I wrote and it kind of put me off a bit to be honest. I can’t actually remember much about that story but I’m sure if I read it now it would seem fairly ridiculous to be annoyed that my real life experiences weren’t living up to what I had written.
I guess when you write a story like that, you can’t help but unleash your own darkest fantasies onto the page, however troubling they may be (or however much you might like to pretend it’s fiction). I’m sure there are writers who churn out erotic literature, who scarcely put anything of themselves into it, and that’s probably why a lot of it is pretty uninspiring. I feel like, if you’re writing something, no matter how dark it may be, if you are writing it as erotic fiction, then you can’t help but gauge your own work by how much the ideas you’re utilising turn you on.
Which if you’ve read ‘Owned!’ is quite troubling in hindsight. I remember reading that for the first time in ages, and being quite shocked at how hardcore it was. But it wasn’t written to shock, everything in that book turned me on (at least when I was writing it) to some degree otherwise I wouldn’t have written it. Then again, maybe once you absorb yourself into that process, maybe the things you are pulling out of your head themselves push you further to create more extreme fantasies that you maybe wouldn’t normally think of? I don’t know.
I think I was quite surprised how much ‘forced-bi’ there was in Owned! to be honest. Which isn’t to say that I retract it in any way, but it does make me wonder what kind of depraved filth I would come up with now, eight years later! Actually I have a fairly good idea of the kind of filth I would come up with and I feel like having been blogging for several years now and having viewed an awful lot of blogs and porn in the process, it does worry me slightly what depraved fantasies my mind might spew onto the page.
I actually do have (somewhere) a substantial raft of notes for the purpose of writing another long story, but what I’d actually like to do is to write a proper novel. I really don’t want to write 20,000 words and publish it as an e-book on Amazon or wherever. I would much prefer to go the whole hog and write 70-100,000 words and properly publish something (in paperback), of course whether anyone would think it worthy of publication is a completely different matter of course, but at least if no one did want to publish it I could always post it here (and on Literotica of course).

Anyway, just to get back to reality, today I am feeling a bit better, but Mistress and I are really not keen on the idea of having our Femdom session in the week, it will just be too much of a rush. So, what we are proposing to do is wait until this coming Sunday. We are going out on Friday night, and then we are going to London on Saturday to see a band (Mesh) which has quite an early curfew so we should be at home again by 1AM all being well.
In the meantime, we took the opportunity tonight to take Mistress’s orgasm count for January into double figures, and all being well we shall add to that total tomorrow and on Thursday night too. I still think it’s going to be tough to get Mistress up to last year’s total of 132, but it is still possible. At least it’s pretty much guaranteed that the ratio of Mistress R’s orgasms to mine is going to increase dramatically, whatever happens over the next couple of months.
Mistress certainly did a number on me tonight, at one point she was kissing me and completely unexpectedly she landed a slap square on both balls. It felt fucking amazing to tell you the truth and straight after that I could feel my cock pulsing harder than ever. Of course Mistress didn’t let me cum, and when she called a halt (marked with a final few slaps to my cock and balls) I begged her to stroke me just a little more. She gave me a look, but further begging weakened her resolve and I was stroked hard and fast for a few seconds more, which left me harder than ever. So fucking frustrating, I was rubbing my cock against her leg, aching for more as we cuddled and kissed… but to no avail.

Awesome post on S.H.I.P.s blog…

There’s a good chance you’ll have read this already, if you are paying attention… but if you haven’t, then I heartily recommend you visit Sub Hub in Phoenix’s blog and read this AWESOME POST. Here he recounts the tale of how his lovely Mistress K ‘cuckolded’ him with a pair of dildos. It’s pretty awesome, especially the bit where she tells him she’s going to ruin his orgasm. Truly great stuff.

Unquestionably ruined…

Last night Mistress and I went to bed early, it had been a long day which included a visit to my parents (for me) and a late tea. On Sunday Mistress was feeling a bit under the weather so I never got my treat, something that was addressed last night and more…
I started out kissing Mistress’s beautiful feet and then worked my way up her legs, kissing all along the way. After briefly kissing her on the lips, Mistress pushed me back down between her legs and I gently kissed and licked her delicious pussy. As things progressed I gently slid a finger inside her and massaged her slippery pussy, all the time using my tongue to help build her towards orgasm.
When it hit Mistress pushed my head away roughly, but then immediately grabbed my head and pulled it back between her legs, moaning as I continued to stimulate her. I love it when Mistress cums like that and I love it when she grabs my head like that too. It gives me that wonderful sense of being used for her pleasure, which any submissive loves.
Afterwards Mistress had me worship her lovely feet again for a while, I especially love kissing her feet after making her cum because I can usually enjoy the sight of her pink pussy as I kiss and suck her toes. 🙂
Then Mistress had me lay on my back and she reached for the cock whip that I had left on the bedside table (my reward for losing weight again last week). Once she had me hard, Mistress started flicking my cock and balls with the whip but also slapping my cock with her hand as she usually does.
The funny thing is, Mistress has got so used to slapping my cock and finding the correct level that her hand was far more effective than the whip, although it still felt nice, just a bit too gentle. I guess Mistress just isn’t so confident about how hard she can use the whip, which is fair enough as it doesn’t get used anywhere near as much as her hand (Mistress’s rings also give an additional sting too by the way!).
Eventually I asked Mistress to whip me harder, but I don’t know if she misheard me (I’m very quietly spoken at the best of times) but instead of thrashing my cock with the whip, she took a firm hold of my cock and began pumping me hard. She looked so hot, staring at my cock as she jerked it like a jackhammer, it felt amazing and before too long I was getting close. I told Mistress that I was getting close and she pumped a few more times and then let go.
Those last few strokes I was getting so close I was sure she was going to tell me to cum, especially the way she was pumping my cock, surely… but no, she let go and we both watched as a single drop of cum appeared and slowly trickled down my cock. Mistress used a finger to catch it and had me suck it clean. Then when she turned back, another trickle of cum had appeared and she fed that to me too.
When my cock finally decided to soften, there was a fair amount of cum released, she really had taken it to the absolute limit, one more stroke would have done it. Two would have resulted in a spurt of cum, even without further stimulation I’m sure. But as it is, it was unquestionably ruined, even by the most hardline standards!
Of course, this is all very well, but Mistress never gave me permission to cum, so now she has a reason to punish me in our next Femdom session. I wonder what I will chose as my reward next week, assuming I lose weight again (and I’m pretty sure I will). Archedone thought I had chosen the strap-on, that’s a definite maybe!

What the hell happened here…?

The blog has been getting a good steady couple of thousand hits a day for some time now, but something strange happened last weekend, culminating in a huge day last Sunday. 3756 hits in one day. I can’t actually remember the previous record but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t too much more than that, perhaps it was about 4,200 or something like that.
I’ve been a bit lax about posting this week, apologies for that. After last weekend’s amazing orgasm / anal dildo fun, Mistress got her period, which put her out of action for a few days. We’ve really got it down to a fine art now, we always seem to get Mistress an orgasm at the last possible moment and then another one as soon as possible, thus minimising the downtime. I hate downtime, and I want Mistress to have as many orgasms as possible. It’s going to be tough to beat 132 from last year, but we’re not completely beaten yet, and Mistress added another one today, with another one on the cards tomorrow all being well.
Mistress has a bit of a cold / sore throat at the moment, so we abandoned our planned session. Having her coughing and croaking her orders at me wasn’t really going to work, even though Mistress feels fine in herself. As I lost another pound this week I get to choose a toy to play with, which will be tomorrow now (can you guess what I picked?) and we will hopefully get our next session next Sunday. Unless I get a cold of course!
Today was great though. Mistress allowed me to worship her gorgeous pussy and her feet first, and then she started stroking me and playing with my balls. Then she leaned over and bit one of my nipples, and then the other one. Later she squeezed them between her fingers, which made my cock throb. And then later still when she was riding my cock, she dragged her nails across them. This was all very unexpected and awesome, I love it when she hurts me like that… so hot!
While Mistress was riding my cock, I begged her to remove her bra and let me see her gorgeous breasts. She made me beg a couple of times, then slipped the straps off of her shoulders and pushed her bra down just enough that I could see her nipples, then as she continued riding my cock she squeezed them with her hands for a while, before covering herself up again. So mean!
She lifted herself off me and lay next to me, her fingers gently stroked my cock and she fed her pussy juice to me from her fingers several times, before stroking me to the edge and then stopping. My cock was ridiculously hard, and I needed to taste her again right away. I would have loved for Mistress to have straddled my head at that point, but instead she knelt on the bed and I was allowed to kiss and lick her pussy while my cock throbbed like a bastard.  

If you’ve never done this…

If you’ve never done this, I can tell you from experience that it’s fucking awesome. Of course it doesn’t happen that often, since I only get to cum about every 3-4 weeks or so, and even then I’m only allowed to cum inside Mistress’s gorgeous pussy about 50% of the time. So maybe every couple of months I get to lick my cum out of Mistress’s pussy and I love it. I can still vividly remember the very first time I did it, it was about 2002/3 and I clearly remember watching Mistress lifting up off me and moving up my body to straddle my head. As she moved towards me I could just see a sliver of white appearing between her silky, wet pussy lips, and I remember thinking that this was it, I was finally going to lick her pussy clean! Funny how it took another eight years for me to become Mistress’s full time chastity slave…
I didn’t get to do this today, but I did have a very intense orgasm. One of the benefits of my new weight loss regime is that every week that I lose new weight (or at least ‘new’ as far as this cycle is concerned – it’s going to be a while until I genuinely lose new weight) I get to choose a toy to play with. One of my main motivations or requesting the reinstatement/reset of this arrangement is that since I stopped losing weight last year, I haven’t felt able to initiate any kind of toy action and since Mistress hardly ever seems to either, we have been back to having a drawer full of stuff that only gets used once a month. Hopefully, over the coming months I will lose weight steadily and get to choose a toy every week. I hope this will help us get used to incorporating sex toys into our normal sex life and in the future they will be a more regular and constant feature.
Anyway, the thing I really missed, was having Mistress teasing me while she used my glass plug on me. So it was a no brainer this morning when I got on the scales and lost six pounds the first week… added to which of course, I also had the orgasm voucher in hand, and I was thinking these could be combined to formulate something pretty special.
After licking Mistress to orgasm (which was very enjoyable for both of us) Mistress started stroking my cock and got me hard, before grabbing the lube and spraying first my ass and then the glass plug. Then she slowly worked the dildo into my ass and stroked me with her other hand. Meanwhile I reached behind her and started to gently tease her asshole with my fingers, and Mistress seemed to be enjoying that too.
The sensations were fantastic as Mistress switched between stroking, slapping and sucking my cock and working the dildo inside my ass. After a while I told Mistress that I wanted to use my voucher, and I begged her to fuck my ass with the glass plug. Mistress did an amazing job of stroking me hard and pleasuring my ass and my cock just kept getting harder and harder and the sensations just kept building ad building, but release just seemed to always be a few more strokes away…until finally it hit me and I was literally bucking up and down on the bed as I pushed the dildo straight out of my ass. Weirdly it seemed like the orgasm hit me way before I started to ejaculate, almost as if my cock was so over-hard it was blocking the release of my cum. 
Once I started to actually cum, my cock was already moving into the hyper-sensitive stage and as Mistress struggled to grab at my slippery cock as I bounced around on the bed, I was kinda glad that she couldn’t get too good a grip on it as I think it would have quickly turned into ‘post-orgasm torment’ again.
It was super-intense, and I absolutely loved having my ass fucked while Mistress teased and stroked my cock. Who knows when I will get the chance to cum like that again, so I was always going to use my voucher today, even though it had only been two weeks since I was allowed to cum.

Just because she can…

I’ve noticed that Mistress has started to make me beg more, which can only be a good thing! Like tonight, after I had made her cum with my tongue, she was teasing me while I was allowed to touch her ass with my fingers. I love to gently stroke her asshole while she sucks, strokes and slaps my cock, just the heat from her ass on my fingertips makes my cock throb harder.
So I was lying there thinking that I hadn’t actually been allowed to lick Mistress’s ass yet this year, when she got up on her knees and continued sucking my cock. I don’t know what she was planning, obviously something… maybe she was going to sit on my face anyway? But since she was sucking my cock and allowing me to play with her ass, I thought it was worth asking permission to worship her delicious ass.
She looked down at me, looking absolutely gorgeous and smilingly said ‘Do you really want to?’
I told her that yes, I really wanted to and she told me to beg again. Which I did obviously and then enjoyed the absolute pleasure of tonguing her gorgeous asshole while she stroked my cock. It really was heavenly, Mistress has such a sexy ass and feeling my tongue press against her tight little hole is totally wonderful for me.
Earlier, after I had made her cum, I got to worship Mistress’s feet for a while, and from where I was laying I could look up and see her beautiful pussy. I tried to concentrate on her lovely feet, but it was hard not to be distracted by such a gorgeous sight.
I love that Mistress is making me beg more, especially out of our sessions. It indicates to me that her confidence in herself is growing, slowly… but it is growing. I want her to be absolutely confident in her sexiness, I want her to know that she can order me to worship any part of her gorgeous body at any time, even if it’s just to satisfy herself that I will drop everything to please her.
I can’t think of anything that would please me more than her ordering me, out of the blue, to lay down on the bed, floor or couch, whatever, and then having her plant her pussy or ass on my face and telling me to worship her, just to assert her dominance over me. I appreciate it must be hard to get used to the idea that you can do things like that, but it would be awesome all the same.
We were lying in bed earlier, after our little session was over and Mistress’s fingers brushed over my nipple. I couldn’t help wishing she would would pinch it between her fingers and squeeze it, just to remind me who is in control in the bedroom and that she can do what she wants…
A year ago if I would have asked Mistress if I could worship her ass, she would probably have just said ‘yes’, or not said anything and just straddled my face. I think it’s great that she makes me beg now, pretty much every time. What was that line from Mr Rika again, I really need to get that up on my blog somewhere. And to maybe stencil it on the wall above Mistress’s mirror…
“There is nothing more attractive to a submissive man than a woman who demonstrates openly how confident she is in her sexuality and it’s effect on him.”
This is so, so true.

Pre-sleep stroking…

Mistress and I were very tired last, since neither of us slept well on Sunday night. As we lay in bed together I felt myself getting hard and decided that I would ask for permission to touch my cock. Mistress granted me permission, while clarifying that I was not allowed to edge myself and obviously not allowed to cum.
I couldn’t see the clock myself, but after a couple of minutes of stroking Mistress told me, ‘That’s enough!’ and I immediately let go. Then she kissed me goodnight and I had to go to sleep, hard and frustrated.

Well, that wasn’t what I was expecting…

I had fully intended to use my voucher today, the one that allows me to ask permission for an orgasm… but somehow, things ended up in a completely different direction.
I’ve been feeling very dozy today, I was so tired last night I was falling asleep on the couch by ten, and I didn’t get up until 8:45 or something, but I still feel sleepy. It’s also been very frosty here today, and a walk was abandoned when we couldn’t get to end of the road without slipping over.
I did the treadmill though, and after a shower I was lucky enough to be allowed to worship Mistress R’s gorgeous pussy. She tasted lovely as always and after she had cum and I had kissed her feet for a short while, my thoughts turned once again to my voucher.
Did I really want to use it today? There’s a lot of January still to come, would I be regretting my decision later, or would it be better to get it out of the way, and hand full control over my orgasms back to Mistress R?
As Mistress started to stroke my cock, I thought less and less about the voucher. She slapped my cock and balls repeatedly and then stroked me fast, almost as if she was trying to edge me straight away. Mistress started sucking my cock then and thoughts of the voucher came and went, but I couldn’t decide.
Soon she was stroking me hard again and then she straddled me and sank down on me. It felt fucking amazing and Mistress looked so stunning riding my cock. She was wearing her bra, but I didn’t bother to ask her to take it off since I could barely look at her without wanting to explode. Mistress smiled down at me when I opened my eyes one time, and then reached back and slapped my balls a few times.
It felt to me like she was pushing me, trying to make me use my voucher, teasing me that she would let me cum inside her, maybe even slapping my balls as I came… but maybe it was a trick, maybe as soon as I said I wanted to cum she would slide off me and make me cum whichever way she wanted me to.
As it turned out, I think Mistress had forgotten about the voucher, so I was probably reading an awful lot more into this than there was. Still…
Eventually Mistress lay down next to me again and grabbed my cock, still slick with her delicious pussy juices. She started stroking me fast again until I had to warn her that I was getting close. She let go for a few seconds and then started again, until I had to warn her once more that I was getting close. This was awesome, I would have loved more of this… although I am sure it wouldn’t have taken too many more edges before I literally wouldn’t have been able to take more than a couple of strokes at a time.
By now I had kind of forgotten about my voucher to be honest. The second time I had nearly cum by accident, but just managed to keep it back. Now as I warned her for a third time Mistress said ‘You may cum’. I was confused, why would she let me cum when I never used my voucher. I began to think I was getting a free pass and getting to keep my voucher and I relaxed and gave in to the sensations that were building stronger and stronger, pushing me closer to what promised to be a spectacular orgasm.
Of course ‘You may cum’ means – you don’t need to fight it any more, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I am going to be allowed to cum. Considering Mistress hardly ever ruins my orgasms, she’s bloody good at it. Just as I was about to explode, her fingers relaxed their grip until I could barely feel them and she gently tipped me over the edge.
There was no initial spurt, no minimized pleasure, just absolute frustration as my cum dripped out and my muscles twitched away, trying desperately to force my orgasm to take hold. But there was nothing, it was totally and utterly ruined. Then Mistress scooped up (rather a large amount of) my cum and fed it to me. When I had swallowed it she straddled my face and allowed me to lick her pussy again, she was soaking wet and I could have stayed like that all night, but Mistress only allowed me a short period of pussy worship before laying down next to me again.
It certainly wasn’t what I was expecting, but I loved it… I hope Mistress will ruin me more in 2015 than last year. Perhaps that will be a good (and necessary) stepping stone to longer periods of chastity.