I had an email yesterday from someone who I shall call ‘J’. He said he very much liked my long stories: Owned, Everything Has a Price, Out of Your Hands, etc… and asked if/when I would be doing another really long and involved story like those.
Well, of course I would love to write another multi-chapter story like that again, but it’s not that easy. Firstly, it’s simply a matter of having the time. It takes a huge amount of time to write those stories,and if you’ve never done it yourself you just wouldn’t believe how time consuming creative writing (and indeed most creative endeavours) can be.
Secondly for those kind of stories you really need a story worth telling, and it has to be more involved and involving to justify the length. I recently concocted a pretty detailed story outline in my head over the course of several days, but because I’m too lazy/stupid (you choose) I neglected to write it down and now I can’t remember a damned word of it. Which is incredibly annoying, cos all I can remember was that it was a really good idea!
There is another element to this as well, which was far more unexpected and actually quite bizarre really. I can’t remember which story it was that I was writing, but I think it might have been ‘Everything Has a Price’… and I got so completely absorbed into the creative process that I actually became almost resentful (takes a deep breath, because I don’t think I’ve ever actually confronted this before) that my life with Mistress R wasn’t living up to the fantasy that I was writing.
I know in the cold light of day that sounds completely fucking ridiculous, but I was so absorbed in what I was writing that logic went out of the window. And it wasn’t like I was actually sitting there thinking about it, in fact it didn’t really occur to me why I was in such a bad mood all the time until I’d actually finished it and some level of normalcy was resumed.
It would make sense that it was ‘Everything Has a Price’ because that was the last long story that I wrote and it kind of put me off a bit to be honest. I can’t actually remember much about that story but I’m sure if I read it now it would seem fairly ridiculous to be annoyed that my real life experiences weren’t living up to what I had written.
I guess when you write a story like that, you can’t help but unleash your own darkest fantasies onto the page, however troubling they may be (or however much you might like to pretend it’s fiction). I’m sure there are writers who churn out erotic literature, who scarcely put anything of themselves into it, and that’s probably why a lot of it is pretty uninspiring. I feel like, if you’re writing something, no matter how dark it may be, if you are writing it as erotic fiction, then you can’t help but gauge your own work by how much the ideas you’re utilising turn you on.
Which if you’ve read ‘Owned!’ is quite troubling in hindsight. I remember reading that for the first time in ages, and being quite shocked at how hardcore it was. But it wasn’t written to shock, everything in that book turned me on (at least when I was writing it) to some degree otherwise I wouldn’t have written it. Then again, maybe once you absorb yourself into that process, maybe the things you are pulling out of your head themselves push you further to create more extreme fantasies that you maybe wouldn’t normally think of? I don’t know.
I think I was quite surprised how much ‘forced-bi’ there was in Owned! to be honest. Which isn’t to say that I retract it in any way, but it does make me wonder what kind of depraved filth I would come up with now, eight years later! Actually I have a fairly good idea of the kind of filth I would come up with and I feel like having been blogging for several years now and having viewed an awful lot of blogs and porn in the process, it does worry me slightly what depraved fantasies my mind might spew onto the page.
I actually do have (somewhere) a substantial raft of notes for the purpose of writing another long story, but what I’d actually like to do is to write a proper novel. I really don’t want to write 20,000 words and publish it as an e-book on Amazon or wherever. I would much prefer to go the whole hog and write 70-100,000 words and properly publish something (in paperback), of course whether anyone would think it worthy of publication is a completely different matter of course, but at least if no one did want to publish it I could always post it here (and on Literotica of course).
Anyway, just to get back to reality, today I am feeling a bit better, but Mistress and I are really not keen on the idea of having our Femdom session in the week, it will just be too much of a rush. So, what we are proposing to do is wait until this coming Sunday. We are going out on Friday night, and then we are going to London on Saturday to see a band (Mesh) which has quite an early curfew so we should be at home again by 1AM all being well.
In the meantime, we took the opportunity tonight to take Mistress’s orgasm count for January into double figures, and all being well we shall add to that total tomorrow and on Thursday night too. I still think it’s going to be tough to get Mistress up to last year’s total of 132, but it is still possible. At least it’s pretty much guaranteed that the ratio of Mistress R’s orgasms to mine is going to increase dramatically, whatever happens over the next couple of months.
Mistress certainly did a number on me tonight, at one point she was kissing me and completely unexpectedly she landed a slap square on both balls. It felt fucking amazing to tell you the truth and straight after that I could feel my cock pulsing harder than ever. Of course Mistress didn’t let me cum, and when she called a halt (marked with a final few slaps to my cock and balls) I begged her to stroke me just a little more. She gave me a look, but further begging weakened her resolve and I was stroked hard and fast for a few seconds more, which left me harder than ever. So fucking frustrating, I was rubbing my cock against her leg, aching for more as we cuddled and kissed… but to no avail.