Would you date a former porn actor?

My absolute favourite TV show right now is called ‘First Dates’, it’s on its third series here in the UK and last night’s episode was a belter. For those who haven’t seen it, or for those who don’t live here and presumably aren’t able to see it, the idea is simple. There’s a nice restaurant in London, where loads of couples who are matched up via the Channel 4 website, meet for the very first time and go on blind dates together. The TV company films it all and shows us the best ones.

It is endlessly entertaining and at times hilariously funny. Last night a guy explained that his mother was half-Egyptian, at which his date looked confused and said ‘I didn’t know you could be Egyptian…’, like Egypt only existed thousands of years ago…? Later she was filmed in the bathroom moaning into her phone that ‘He isn’t even wearing a Rolex’.

But it was another couple who raised the question above. There was a girl and a big guy who had quite a lot of tattoos, and they seemed to be getting on well until he dropped into the conversation that he had made porn films. At which point she pretty much freaked out and disappeared to the bathroom herself. When she returned the situation quickly deteriorated and it was clear that this was not going to go any further.

After the show finished Mistress R asked me if it would bother me, to which I replied that, actually I had never really given it any thought. It’s a long, long time since I was single for one thing… but this got me thinking about this subject and I asked my friend at work for his opinions too. We mulled it over for most of the day, and decided that it would depend on a lot of things, but assuming all things to be equal and that you meet someone who you are attracted to, would it actually be any different from them having slept with loads of people and not getting filmed/paid for it?

In the case of this guy (and, let’s be honest most ‘guys’ in porn) if he hadn’t told her then she probably wouldn’t have known. Of course, other people might tell her, what I meant was it’s not like he was likely to be recognized in the street in the same way that, say Sacha Grey might be. In any case, if he had kept it to himself for a while at least, he might have had a chance to build a relationship with the woman first before revealing something which is obviously potentially quite contentious. True, she’s bound to say ‘Why didn’t you tell me this before… and what else aren’t you telling me?’, but the obvious answer to that is I wanted you to get to know me first, so you wouldn’t judge me unfairly.

Actually, in this instance, the main issue seemed not to be that he’d been filmed and that his porn stardom was an issue or likely embarrassment waiting to happen (funnily enough the woman had worked in a sex shop), but more that she felt like she couldn’t compete with the women he’d slept with because they must be young and have perfect porn bodies…

To be fair, if I was single and a *retired* Bobbi Starr or Ashley Fires wanted me to date them, would I feel secure enough about myself, when all it would take would be ten seconds and a Google search to find video of either of them being thoroughly pleasured by guys with stupidly big cocks (on the plus side, both of those women have made Femdom / Chastity / Cuckold porn too :)).

Honestly I think it would come down to a lot of factors, not least of which would be their attitude and personality. I certainly don’t think I would dismiss someone out of hand if they told me they had done porn, but I might if I thought it had negatively affected their attitude towards men, and more specifically their attitude towards sex within a normal relationship.

I’m not sure if Mistress R answered her own question or not, if she did I can’t remember what she said. Thankfully it’s not something either of us are likely to have to consider, but it is an interesting question and I would be interested to hear what my readers think?

4 thoughts on “Would you date a former porn actor?

  1. Would I? No. Certanly no. I am the owner. It will be terrible for me to hear “Oh, that girl fucking with three guys in porn”. To know, that she had sex with other man or men.
    But. As a normal man i would like to fuck such porn actor. Remy LaCroix for example. Watched her porn. I’d like to fuck, degrade and punish her. It is impossible of course.
    But if you do not care what she fucks with others and is a lot of people looked at porn, then why not to date with her? She’s just an actress.

    • Hi SomeoneNSFW
      Thanks for your comment. I guess we are coming at this from different angles. Having watched the TV show I felt kind of sorry for the guy as he was being honest and upfront and she was throwing it back in his face. As if just cos he’s done porn then he’s damaged goods or something. I don’t think it’s fair to assume that anyone who’s done porn is incapable of maintaining a good relationship. Sure some people will have become jaded by it, but some people won’t. But I get that it would be hard to accept just as some people would find it hard to accept a partner who had slept with many partners. Being somewhat inexperienced myself, having only slept with two women, I take the view that whatever happened before I met someone was none of my business. I know Mistress R has slept with more people than I have, I have no idea how many, it would hypocritical to resent it, since if I was a more outgoing and sociable teen then I might have had the same experiences. However I still think a first date is not the time to drop a bomb like that.

  2. I lived with a porn star for ten years. She stopped making films when we started dating. We even looked at some of her films together. I have to say that I was not turned on by the fact she made the films. When watching them, it was a little weird, but then it was the past. I had others before her. I just didn’t have tapes to share.

    Bottom line is that the fantasy is very hot. The reality is that if she is the right partner for you then it is fine. I would never permit her to have sex with anyone else while we were together. I am just not into sharing.

    • Hi Caged Lion
      Nice to get a new commenter! Thanks for your input, I think I maybe didn’t make it clear enough in my original post that I was talking about dating someone who who was no longer doing porn. I will make some adjustments to the post to make it clearer.
      Like you say, you had ‘previous’ you just didn’t have tapes… I think that’s a good attitude. I think it would be a shame to pass up on someone who could potentially be a really good match because of something they did that was now in the past (albeit if it was drugs I would pass…), but I can see how some people might feel very differently about it.

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