Pondering the Vanilla…

As quite often these days, it is reading other people’s blogs which inspires me to write posts for my own. This time it’s ‘I’m-Hers’ who has sparked my interest with a post about something I’m sure that I’ve pondered before on here. The question: ‘could we back to a normal vanilla relationship, or is it too late?’.

It’s an interesting and well written (as always) post, but the (22) comments are just as interesting and well worth a read. I noticed our good friend Sub-Hub making some interesting comments and it was one of his comments that actually really made me put finger to keyboard here….

I’m Her’s situation is a bit different to mine and Mistress R’s, theirs is more of a Wife Led Marriage where ours… isn’t that at all. Mistress R controls my orgasms and pleasure but she doesn’t give me chores (except cleaning the bathroom in my frilly panties of course…. no wait that’s a joke 🙂 ) or assume control of my salary. Nor is that something either of us wants.

So actually, in our case I do think that it wouldn’t be that difficult to go back. I mean it would take a little time to get used to things but, really we haven’t strayed all that far from the ‘norm’.

The comment made by Sub Hub which caught my attention was where he mentioned that he and Mistress K discussed their relationship and what the other would look for in a future partner in the case of one or other of them’s unfortunate demise.

Mistress K apparently wouldn’t want another submissive husband, feeling that their relationship is unique to them, whereas Sub Hub said he ‘paused long enough for her to assume that he would want another ‘Mistress’.

I can relate to that.

As much as Mistress R loves controlling my cock and getting as many orgasms as she wants, whenever she wants… all this ‘stuff’ originated from me and I honestly don’t think that if I were to die young (probably a bit late for that really!) she would be looking for a submissive-type replacement.

I’m pretty sure that if I was to have another relationship (and I’m not entirely sure I would, even though I am an awesome catch 🙂 ), if I did then I probably would want someone who I could see as a Mistress, though I have no idea how or how soon I would go about it… or whether I would feel comfortable going through the various steps to make it happen again.

On the other hand, if you don’t try you will never get anywhere (if only I was as ambitious in everyday life!), and you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs. Breaking those eggs wasn’t the easiest of experiences… would I really want to do that again? Not entirely sure. It’s a chicken and egg situation isn’t it, I guess if I couldn’t broach it then that to me would suggest that I wasn’t comfortable enough with that person to spend the rest of my life with them…

What would be interesting would be to see how Mistress R fared with a normal bloke after being ‘in charge’ for so long? Maybe she would like having a more ‘dominant’ partner, but I wonder how long for? She certainly doesn’t seem to show any signs of willingness as far as giving up her current role…

You can read I’m Her’s post HERE

4 thoughts on “Pondering the Vanilla…

  1. Thank you for the notoriety my friend. Before I go on, let me just say that I agree with you everything our pal I’m Hers writes is well-written and meaningful. He’s one of my favorite bloggers for that reason.

    You said …. “all this ‘stuff’ originated from me and I honestly don’t think that if I were to die young (probably a bit late for that really!) she would be looking for a submissive-type replacement.” It’s almost as if you were in the room listening to our conversation. hat was the very reason Mistress K. gave for her reply of “probably not” when asked the question.

    I find it fascinating how those of us that kind of hang together in the bloggy world tend to have similar things on our minds at the same time.

    Thanks again for the props!

    • Hi Sub Hub
      It’s more strange though because your Femdom Marriage is way more advanced than ours, what with you being punished etc… don’t you think?

  2. Well, that prompted some thought! What would we want if starting over again? I can’t speak for CH, though I suspect she would be happy with any loving relationship. She’s less of a kinkster than I am.

    Ours isn’t much of a D/s relationship… It’s my kinky needs that have put us where we are now, and I’m pretty sure I would seek out a kinky partner. But… would that person have to have needs that mesh with my current kinks? I have no idea… Maybe a totally new area of deviant behavior would come about. Maybe that foot fetish that I claim not to have would rise to the surface. All I know is that I’m slightly twisted now, and that’s the way I’ll remain.

    It’s my theory that perversions are far more fun, and that makes if difficult to go back.


    • Hi Harry
      All I know is, although all this stuff came from me, Mistress R doesn’t seem to show any signs of wanting our old life back, so as time goes on I worry about it less and less.

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