Where can I find a wife like yours?

Joe left a comment on my August 15th Femdom Session post asking ‘Where can I find a wife like yours, you are both incredibly lucky?’

Well Joe, the answer to that is of course ‘I don’t know’.

But my guess is that you will be naturally drawn to women with slightly dominant personalities, as was I, even before I really knew I wanted to be submissive. But basically in my case it was down to luck and a lot of hard work and most importantly of all patience.

My first piece of advice would be perhaps to think about your own attitude. I don’t see many men living my lifestyle who spend every night out with the boys, most of them in fact seem to spend as much time as possible with their wives. Most of them seem to be in relationships with women who they want to spend their time with, and who they view as their best friend.

If you think about it, when you finally spring the surprise (no matter how gently or gradually, depending on how far you want to go) your partner’s first reaction is probably going to be to pull back. As in, ‘Oh shit, what the hell…. I thought I knew this person’. The question will be, whether their next response is to move on to someone else or if they value you enough to ‘try it’.

If you can get them to ‘try it’, and you don’t fuck it up by starting off asking her to ‘piss in your mouth…’, chances are you’ll be okay. But this is where the ‘patience’ element comes in, don’t expect to be locked in chastity, whipped, paddled and butt-fucked within the first couple of months.

Not saying it’s impossible, but you’ll be very lucky if you find a woman who genuinely drives the situation. For most of us it’s a case of slow and steady, tempering your expectations, reassurance and being genuine.

I’d be interested to hear from any of my readers how they ‘broached’ the subject with their partners and how things progressed.

3 thoughts on “Where can I find a wife like yours?

  1. I totally agree RA. It’s pure luck. I’ve often believed that a dominant trait does not need to be apparent or obvious, when hoping to be with a wife that is (or can be) a Mistress Wife. I think more than anything, a Mistress Wife has to be … 1. Confident, and 2. Intelligent. If she possesses those 2 characteristics, she has all the necessary ingredients to be able to understand the clear and obvious benefits to a WLM. Confident women are just so sexy, don’t you think? Especially if the have red hair … like my Mistress K.

    • Hi SubHub
      Hmm… I somewhat regret highlighting luck so much in my post. In retrospect I’m not so sure it is luck, as such. As I’ve posted before when I broached the subject of full time chastity with Mistress R she was less than keen. So not really luck then…
      What I think you have to do is put it out there and then let it stand. Back off and take the pressure out of the situation, that’s what I did, and within a couple of days Mistress came back to me and said we could try it, thinking it would last a couple of weeks and then it would all blow over. Now she doesn’t want to go back, even though I ask her now and again. Funny that. šŸ™‚
      In SubHub’s case though maybe it’s different because it’s apparent that Mistress K is more naturally dominant than Mistress R.
      I think though that anyone embarking or wanting this kind of lifestyle needs to understand that you can’t just put it out there and expect it to be given to you on a plate. You need a way to transmit your fantasies to your partner, and then let her decide how far she wants to go. I’m very lucky in that my fantasies end up in my stories, all of which Mistress reads, so she gets an insight into my fantasy mind but through a non-threatening medium.

  2. As a Domme who’s been married to the same submissive for many years, I think you’re answer is a good one. Like any other relationship that withstands the test of time, there is some good fortune or luck involved. I don’t profess to have the answers to this question either. One suggestion to any submissive looking for a Domme, or vice versa, is that there needs to be compatibility between the two beyond the kinky interests they might share. It won’t work otherwise.


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