Seeking reassurance…

So a while back I made a post where I asked my readers to give me their opinions regarding whether they thought Mistress and I should have a break from our chastity play, given that we will soon be coming to our fifth anniversary. I got a couple of quite different responses…

First from Harry Haversackers who said: “On the topic of taking a break, I can only ask why you’d want to… CH and I have been playing with chastity and orgasm denial for roughly the same length of time that you two have been (Five years as of last October), and I can’t imagine taking a break… to do what? Have vanilla sex for a few weeks??”

And an alternate view from Peak who said: “I think the resumption of ‘normal’ relations is something you should seriously discuss with your wife. After five years you are both used to the lifestyle it generates. Equally it could also now be simply a habit. A month of so normal relations (and it may take a few weeks to really get back into it) would allow you both to reset the habit side at least. I’m sure within days you would find it strange and one or the other would want to switch back but give it a reasonable fixed time. After that you would need to discuss it again. You might find you want to switch back immediately, or for another fixed term. You might find elements you want to retain and other you want to stop or restrict. If nothing else you would revert with an eagerness for some elements that would make riveting reading!”

Thanks to both of my readers (sounds good doesn’t it… hahaha) for their comments, I do appreciate people taking their time to leave messages for me. Mistress read that post the other day, although I’m pretty sure she read it before any comments had been left, and she did remark to me that she didn’t know I wanted to ‘take a break’.

We didn’t really get into a discussion about it as it was a rather in-opportune moment, but nothing about her tone suggested to me that she was keen (or otherwise really) on the idea. The truth is it’s not that I want a break, but there is a lingering feeling that stems from when we first started this lifestyle (I refuse to word the ‘j’ word!) that I need reassuring sometimes that Mistress is happy with the way things are. I know that it’s been five years and you would think that if she was unhappy then she probably would have said so by now, and I hope that is true. It is also true that Mistress does seem to enjoy denying me now, and the uncertainty stems from a time when she was very indifferent about the whole idea. No, indifferent doesn’t cut it I’m afraid. Mistress definitely did not want a 24/7/365 chastity lifestyle and she said as much.

But, she changed her mind, and agreed to try, adding some of her own rules in the process (me not being allowed to ask for penetration, or begging to be allowed to cum). I’m quite sure she thought it would last a couple of months and then things would go back to ‘normal’. Of course it didn’t, and here we are nearly five years down the line.

I am perfectly happy of course, but I am mindful that unlike most fetishes this impacts on our life every single day. It’s true that Mistress is in complete control and she can do whatever she pleases, whenever she pleases (within reason) but still. I guess a lot of husbands may have some kink they like and their wives may indulge them (or the other way around of course, it’s not just men who are kinky) but this may only take a few minutes every so often and makes very little real impact on the everyday relationship.

Our situation is somewhat different of course and does have knock-on effects, like limiting our ability to have prolonged/vigorous penetrative sex when I am too ‘on edge’. I guess I just don’t want her to turn around one day and say that this ruined our ‘normal’ sex life, even though she seems perfectly happy with the way things are.

We have discussed this before, and she has definitely said that she doesn’t want to go back to a normal vanilla sex life, and I guess I should just leave it at that, but I still can’t help but worry about it sometimes. I just want to be sure that she is as happy as I am. Because I am very happy.

10 thoughts on “Seeking reassurance…

  1. You are definitely worrying too much. MR has been happy and ocassionally continues to surprise you. If it aint broken don’t go trying to fix it!

  2. Rob, I think your own doubts at present are normal and may even be restricting your obvious pleasure in your lifestyle. It may seem strange to view it this way, but I suspect your advice to a couple thinking of trying your position would be to discuss it, then try it for a fixed short time then review how they felt. You have been there so long now, the normal is simply reversed. I’m pretty sure that even if you did try it for a while, you would both wish to switch back again. I still think you would do so with renewed vigour and enthusiasm which the elimination of doubt would help create. Doing the same every five years or so may well have the same renewal effects. Still worth the discussion anyway.

  3. Now that’s a rare sight, Harry changing his mind! 🙂
    Thanks to both of you for your insights. I don’t know what we will do, probably stay as we are, Mistress hasn’t mentioned it again and I can’t say I’m keen to go back, but I still want to be sure that Mistress is just as happy as I am.

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