Some unusual feedback…

“I love these storys man they are so great. I’m really into the chastity and the feet and the strapon one. I was wondering if you could make one maybe next time that is less heavy in the like mental torment aspect because I honestly deal with a problem of being really into these fending stories but they kinda crush my self esteem when I get back to real life so I’d love it if the wife in the story really just showed how much she loved him and how she’s doing this for him and acted a little less like she loves his pain.”

I received this feedback from someone anonymously via Literotica, and I thought it was quite interesting, and since I can’t respond to him directly I’m hoping that he maybe visits here and will see this post.

For most people the mental ‘torment’ seems to be a big part of the whole Femdom thing, although this can vary greatly along a spectrum: some guys enjoy being branded ‘pathetic’ and ‘inadequate’ for example. That doesn’t appeal to me personally, but I very much like the ‘control’ element and certain types of ‘humiliation’ (being made to suck a strap-on for example).

I can see where the writer is coming from though, I’m sure we’ve all read stories or watched videos of things and felt uncomfortable or embarrassed about how much it turned us on. A prime example of this for me would be HERE, (funnily enough as you can see I added a note at the top of the page addressing just such a feeling about this story that I transcribed from Forum magazine. I also remember some very negative comments that were left when I posted this story on the old blog).

That story has lost it’s impact somewhat now (probably due to reading it too many times), but I understand the unease that feeling can cause, especially for someone who isn’t fully at ease with their own sexuality. Interestingly some of the comments left on some of my older stories on Literotica also mention the same thing, the lack of compassion from the wife. I never really understood those comments to be honest and as a lot of them were left by people who clearly didn’t even like the Femdom genre I didn’t take too much notice of them.

I don’t think I’ve written anything particularly brutal. Although I do think my later stories are a lot softer around the edges, something which to my mind was a bit of a failing really, since the older ones (to me) seem much more like what I should be writing.

I mean I suppose I kind of take it as read that the relationship is a loving, consensual one and everything that happens is good for both (or more) of the participants. Sure there may be a lot of pushing boundaries but often that is what turns us on the most.

Also there is a bit of a conflict there for me, because when I write I try to make it like the ‘wife’ does enjoy his ‘pain’. I can only write stuff which I think is ‘hot’, otherwise it’s not going to work. I have to have some level of immersion in the story to care enough to write it. So yes, if I’m honest, if I’m going to write about a wife ruining her husbands orgasm then I’m going to make it like it turns her on to do it, and that because it turns her on she goes about it the most evil way possible.

I feel really bad now because I started this post trying to be constructive and helpful but as I write I find myself feeling more and more drawn to the dark side. The problem is… okay, so which one of these two scenarios is hotter to read.

1 – Wife keeps husband chaste for six months, allowing him only the occasional ruined orgasm as relief. Ties him to a bed and sits on his face until she gets herself off. Then strokes and edges him 20-30 times and then ruins husbands orgasm, while apologising and reassuring him that she loves him.

2 – Wife keeps husband chaste for six months, with only the occasional ruined orgasm to ease the pressure on his balls. Ties him to a bed and sits on his face until she gets herself off. Edges him 20-30 times until he can barely stand to be touched and then tells him she’s going to let him cum properly. As he starts to cum she lets go and watches his cock leak onto his stomach, while telling him how much she loves being in control and how much she loves being able to ruin him just for the fun of it.

Okay that’s maybe a little unfair, but you see my point. And the other alternative would be that I make the story hot and then write a little prologue which makes it clear that the wife loves the husband, etc etc. I mean I could do that once, but doing it on several stories is going to come over as a bit lame.

From what he wrote I’m sure the guy who sent the feedback would probably even agree that scenario 2 is way better than scenario 1.

I don’t really know what to suggest, these stories are by their nature ‘challenging’ and may make you question things about yourself (which may make you uncomfortable, particularly if you live in a country where maybe the culture is a little less open-minded), but ultimately it is a question of finding your own confidence to accept that side of yourself and not care what others may think about it. I realise for some people that may be difficult, but you aren’t going to find happiness while ever you beat yourself up about what makes your cock hard (within reason of course…).

4 thoughts on “Some unusual feedback…

  1. (Not the guy who commented on your literotica story)

    You write “I understand the unease that feeling can cause, especially for someone who isn’t fully at ease with their own sexuality.”
    That’s not necessarily what is going on here. I’ve just thumbed through your two latest stories (Girls Talk, Frustration)¹ and noticed that you are more keen on the “belittling” and distancing effects of humiliation (at least that’s the impression I got).

    Other people are more into other aspects of humiliation. E.g. humiliation can be about enjoying the feeling of shame, about overcoming it, about pushing someone off-balance, and probably many more things I’m not aware of.

    Someone who fetishizes “top helps sub to overcome shame by experiencing it” aspect probably has trouble enjoying your stories. This does not mean that your story is “bad”, nor that your reader isn’t at ease with his/her own sexuality. It just means that you two think about different things when you say “I’m into humiliation play”.

    ¹ I’m aware that thumbing through your stories doesn’t allow them to fully develop their intended meaning. Sorry for not taking more time with them!

    • Yeah I’m not sure that ‘at ease with your own sexuality’ was really what I was trying to say… or at least I didn’t mean what many people probably thought I meant.

      I fully agree that ‘humiliation’ can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. To some ‘humiliation’ would mean being dressed as a woman, or something like that. To me it could be a verbal thing or being made to swallow my own cum.

      I understand the idea of what the writer was talking about, there have been times when I’ve kind of had a moment and worried about what my Mistress thinks of me and the things we have done. Or maybe I have misunderstood?

      • Ah, ok. I think I get what you’re saying.

        That ambivalence between being equals outside the bedroom, but submitting during play…. and the transition back to becoming loving partners. During the transition I find I’m also quite vulnerable to doubts and fears…

        • Yes, I don’t really know what triggers it, because it’s quite random, but sometimes I just get a thought in my head and it can really fuck with my thinking. Same goes for the ‘penetration’ thing. Even though Mistress gets to decide when she wants penetration I still worry about it (or the lack of it) sometimes, and I don’t mean worry about how much ‘I’ get, but whether she really wants more, but because of our chastity play it compromises that. And also the spontaneous ‘sex’ that we used to have but rarely have any more – although we did just the other day.

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