The trouble with writing…

Well the weekend is nearly over and I have spectacularly failed to write any of my story… bah! And now it’s late and I’m too tired… I should go to bed, but I’m too hot, so I thought I’d write a post instead.

Writing is a curious pursuit, especially this kind of writing. Reading some of my oldest stories again, it surprised me how ‘hard’ they were, and this made me think that I wanted to regain that ‘edge’ a bit.

The thing with that is, that I’m very aware that I will finish this, and then before anyone else gets to read it I will get Mistress R to read it, not least because she is a massive grammar Nazi and will spot any tiny mistake or misuse of commas (which I must admit I am a little prone to at times), and that does affect what I write whether I like it or not.

A lot of my stories, particularly some of the more recent ones, have had cuckolding and ‘forced-bi’ elements, and I can tell you now the story I’m writing now definitely has those elements in too. So it’s always slightly nerve wracking for me to give Mistress my new stories to read because, well because… well isn’t it obvious?

There’s no point trying to pretend these stories don’t reflect certain things that appeal to me on a fantasy level, so I won’t. And I suppose there’s nothing in this story that I haven’t written before (well, actually there is, a much greater emphasis on verbal humiliation), but I still get a bit jittery about it. I mean just think how you would feel writing one of my stories and presenting it to your wife to read. Wouldn’t that make you feel just a little uncomfortable? Okay not all of you, because some of you are complete filth, but the rest of you… 🙂

I will admit the other side of the coin is that I’ve always used my stories to try to ‘inform’ Mistress as to what kind of things go on in my head and what turns me on. For me it’s a lot easier for me to write a story and give that to my Mistress than it is to say to her ‘I really love it when you fuck my ass and then make me suck your strap-on’. I mean I do say these things sometimes, but I still find it difficult, and that is something that has happened several times in real life now. Much harder still to say ‘I’d love it if when you make me suck your strap-on that you were rougher with me’, or ‘I’d love it if you would talk to me about licking another man’s cum out of your pussy or making me suck your juices off another man’s cock’. (The ‘making me’ bit is very important, despite the cries of the Literotica nutjobs decrying my profile ‘Straight’ – Who is he kidding,’ you won’t find any ‘gay’ action in any of my stories, there is certainly forced bi, but from my perspective it’s always about the relationship between the slave and the Mistress and his willingness to push his own boundaries to serve her / and,or allow her to dominate or humiliate him.)

This blog has been a valuable resource in the past for ‘informing’ Mistress of my peculiarities too, and remains so. In the early days of chastity it was invaluable as a way to share my thoughts and give reassurance to my Mistress, and sometimes to vent my frustrations too. Sometimes this went well, other times not so well, but I knew I had to drive this to some extent or we would never have got to where we are now, and I’m sure most would agree that at times progress has been a little slow.

But still, we seem to be getting there now. It’s just sometimes I see people on blogs and stuff writing about ‘topping from the bottom’ and I think, okay, but… it’s one thing to top from the bottom if the dominant partner is very dominant and self assured and knows it all, but if as many relationships are (I would imagine) the dominant partner may need a lot of encouragement and/or suggestions because they may simply not know what the hell the submissive wants.

If things were different and Mistress had come to me one day and said ‘I want you to dominate me’ I would have needed an awful lot of questions answered before I was ready to do that, at least to any degree. I must admit though, submissive I may be, but I wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to paddle Mistress’s gorgeous ass, or to peg her sexy nipples… and I’d love to crop her beautiful pussy too. 🙂

Hehehe…

Anyway, let’s not get too excited about that, because unfortunately it’s not gonna happen! In more positive news, Mistress had another top notch orgasm this afternoon, which was completely awesome for both of us. I don’t know if Mistress is feeling extra horny at the moment, or I’m doing something better than normal, but Mistress seems to be on a roll of really top quality orgasms, which makes me extremely happy.

Afterwards, even though I was feeling extremely hot, Mistress gave me a thorough teasing, leaving me hard and throbbing without release at the end. I’m pleased to report my ED issues seem to have passed by the way side and I’m back to normal, waking up hard in the mornings. Which is completely awesome. I’m still pretty convinced that the main problem was an underlying cold of some sort, hopefully it’s out of my system now and things can get back to normal.

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