This is why it takes me weeks to write a story…

Shock horror, I have done some more work on my story (and it’s now 11,000 words long…). In the meantime, I had a look at my feedback on Literotica today, and more specifically I signed out and signed in to my old account (MALIBUMAN666) to check if anything had been left on there. I don’t look very often, I haven’t posted on that account in years but of course the stories are still there, so if someone reads those stories and leaves a comment then that’s where it will be. It would be nice if I could migrate or amalgamate the old account with the new one, but Literotica don’t seem to offer this facility.

Below I have posted a comment I received about nine months ago (as I said, I don’t look very often).

11/29/15 By: mskathryn
[Quote: She … asked me if I had enjoyed servicing her friends. I struggled for a moment for an answer, unsure as to whether I was supposed to enjoy it or not. I decided on a non-committal answer.
“I enjoy pleasing you and following your instructions Mistress.”
Mistress smiled … *impressed* with how I had negotiated the trap she had laid for me.]

Dear Robert,
*impressed* ? Really? IMHO, only a man could have written this. Why would she be impressed? She asked a question – the honest answer to which could have been quite informative – which is then answered in the style of a (male) politician: that is, he answers a different question, one not asked, and then thinks it clever that he has successfully avoided – sorry, negotiated – a ‘trap’ laid for him. Why should this be a trap? She ‘forced’ him to do the servicing; his enjoyment or otherwise is a reality known to him and over which she had no control; he can answer her honestly or lie. Why in her mind should there be any element of ‘supposed to’? Why should she be impressed by his obfuscation?

Robert, I don’t know whether you are still reading comments here. But on the assumption that you are, could I offer a critique that I think applies to this and some of your other writing? I feel that you do not empathise enough with your female protagonists. If I were an actress playing the part of your femdoms, I would be asking myself: ‘What is my motivation for this particular action or that particular behaviour?’
In this particular story, the femdom is also his wife; and you give no indication that the marriage is breaking down, or a sham. So I start from the premise that she loves him, which is why she’s willing to indulge his fantasies in ways that will be fulfilling for him. But what does she get out of it? Yes, there is pleasure to be derived from vicariously experiencing his pleasure – something you seem to understand perfectly well with the positions reversed. And yes, an element of sexual control can be sexually arousing – but don’t overplay it, please. I can tell you that every woman enjoying a loving, satisfying sexual relationship experiences that sense of power and control every time she views her lover’s face at the moment of his orgasm. Indeed, I have just given myself a tingle merely from the recollected images brought to the fore by writing that last sentence!

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate when someone leaves me a well thought out comment and / or constructive criticism, but you can see why it takes me forever to write my stories. I guess it’s a compliment really, given the enormous amount of dross that’s posted to Literotica… (usually starts something like – ‘Babygirl, my 21yr old, virgin daughter was sucking my cock while I cupped her 42FFF tits…’) that someone takes the time to post an intelligent critique. I guess that must mean my work is not completely without artistic merit and is taken seriously enough to warrant the bother.

So anyway, I contacted the author and invited her to view my blog. There were a couple of other comments left as well, but they were more along the lines of ‘Hope the bitch enjoyed her trip to the divorce court’ and that kind of thing… trouble is if you want to impress me with that shit you’ve got to really go for it, and these people didn’t (sadly, I love a good full-on rant).

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