A Little Freedom Only Reaffirms the Desire for Control…

Collaredmichael said: I know your dilemma. When I finally get to cum, I’m hoping my Queen takes all the decision making out of my hands. That way I won’t have any regrets about where I choose. That won’t be for awhile yet, but we all have our favourite spots and vacillate back and forth between spots. Take the decision out of my hands and I’ll be much happier in the long run.

Although I totally understand and relate to what Collaredmichael said here, I don’t want to say I 100% agree with this because receiving a voucher that allows me to choose where I cum (within boundaries…) is a lovely thing and, for example, when I told Mistress that I wanted to cum on her pussy not so long ago, it seemed like she was genuinely surprised, like she would never have thought of that.

I really loved kneeling between her wide open thighs and cumming all over her gorgeous pussy and then licking it clean, it was absolutely hot as hell (so yeah, why didn’t you pick it last night you knuckle head!), so at the very least I would like to retain some input, because… lets be honest, I’m not sure Mistress really devotes that much time to thinking about where she’d want to let me cum, whereas I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about it. I doubt Mistress would ever have thought of having me cum on her beautiful feet if I hadn’t suggested it first either, and that is something else that is phenomenally hot for me.

I think the thing is, Mistress probably thinks the treat is that ‘I’m getting to cum’, but for me the treat is more that I’m getting to cum on her pussy, or on her feet, or inside her, and then cleaning it up with my tongue. The orgasm itself is not such a big part of it really. I can honestly say I can get more pleasure out of being teased and left throbbing, really throbbing, than I can out of actually being allowed to cum. Which is probably why I was a bit down last night when I wrote my post, because it’s not like I get to cum again in a couple of days and choose better this time, it could be a long time. So it’s kinda hard if it’s not ‘perfect’…or rather not how I imagined it and wanted it to be.

It’s funny, I was thinking earlier today about writing a post about something and it ties in so neatly with this post that it’s all rather convenient. What I was going to say was, years ago when I first got interested in the whole chastity thing, like many of you I’m sure, I discovered Sarah Jameson’s blog. And I remember, she and her husband (I think his name was John) had a chastity contract where it stipulated the terms of his chastity and at the bottom there was a place for her to sign it if she ever wanted to make his chastity ‘permanent’. If I remember correctly he had already signed it, he was all for it, it was left open for her to sign it if she ever wanted to and if she did that meant that she would effectively never let him cum ‘properly’ again.

At the time I thought, wow – that is seriously hardcore. But looking at it now I can totally see why he would want that. When you practice chastity for a long time, things change. In the beginning you want denial, and then you get to a point where your partner denies you enough that you crave wanting to cum. But then as time goes on (and I’ve read this on many other chastity blogs) you get to a point where ‘orgasm’ is no longer a goal, in fact it’s often a bit of an anticlimax.

Of course in the moment you get that massive rush, but afterwards you kind of wish you hadn’t. It’s so hard to explain, but other chastity guys will be nodding their heads I’m sure. Like I said earlier in this post, being teased to the max and left achingly hard and desperate is better than actually being allowed to cum, so I can totally understand why John would want to sign away his real orgasms and only have ruined ones.

I remember Sarah writing quite a lot about this, and saying how at times she was tempted to sign it, but that she did enjoy making him cum occasionally. I think in the end she decided that it didn’t matter if she signed it or not, because she was quite prepared to make him wait indefinitely to cum properly if she wanted to, and she also said that even if she signed it, since she was in control she could rescind it whenever she wanted anyway. So I guess she never actually signed it…

This makes total sense, why tie yourself down to a rule which effectively removes the control from the ‘Mistress’, surely it’s better to leave that door open for her and also to provide ‘hope’ for the guy whose dedication to chastity is wavering as he’s edged hard and his body craves release. Because, sure, I can tell you now that I would rather be edged and left aching than be allowed to cum, but bring me within a few seconds of cumming and primal instinct takes over. In that moment you genuinely want release and the thought that you’ll regret it after is nowhere to be found.

So yes, there’s definitely two sides to this argument… I do love to see my cum spattered across Mistress’s feet/pussy/breasts/ass… (when you haven’t got a cock ring on and it can actually splatter 🙂 ) and I love licking it up too, it makes me feel very submissive (of course) and I like that a LOT. True, Mistress could definitely have me ruin my orgasms onto her feet/pussy/breasts/ass… and that would be really cool too, maybe even better than being allowed to cum? Maybe I’ll find out soon? I hope so. I’m totally prepared to let go at the last second, 100%!

At the moment I seem to be having one proper orgasm and one ruined orgasm per month and I’m very happy with that. Our chastity has developed pretty slowly, it took several years for Mistress to get comfortable with ruining orgasms, but I’m happy that she has now and that the balance is slowly but surely shifting towards the majority of my orgasms being ruined. It’s important that Mistress is comfortable with this too (obviously) and if this trend continues then hopefully in a year or two it could be that the ruined orgasms outnumber the proper orgasms quite considerably. I would be very happy if they did, as long as Mistress was happy too.

Going back to Collaredmichael’s comment though, I must admit, vouchers are nice and everything, but being controlled is a big part of this whole experience and it is definitely more ‘comfortable’ leaving the power in the hands of your Mistress. Strangely, being allowed some ‘freedom’ now and again only seems to reinforce that desire to be controlled, which makes it a very good thing indeed!


10 thoughts on “A Little Freedom Only Reaffirms the Desire for Control…

  1. Thanks for the shout out Robert. Much appreciated. I really understood this post. It deals with our vacillation when we are teased–and then denied. Man that is such an incredible feeling!

    • Hi Collaredmichael
      No problem, it’s the least I can do given the amount of input I get from you (I would do the same for you if I could actually post comments without being asked for a password that I don’t know…).
      Vacillation, what a brilliant word, that’s the perfect word to describe exactly what I’m talking about!

  2. Great blog I enjoy reading it. My wonderful girlfriend and I are in a female led enforced chastity relationship and are loving it. Keep up the good work and if you ever want to check out our blog it’s caged4crystal.blogspot.com. Look forward to your next post.

    • Hi Nick, thanks for your comments. I don’t want to sound like a dick but I started reading your blog and I don’t really know if I believe a word of it. You’re either the luckiest son of a bitch alive or a complete fantasist, either way you need to start using paragraphs.

      • Thanks for checking it out and it is very much real so believe what you would like but yes I like to think I’m very lucky and I’ll write my blog in the format I like you do what you want with yours. Cheers.

        • Hi Nick
          I realise that was not perhaps the most tactful of comments, but I’ve seen a lot of blogs over the years and the truth yours does present as somewhat dubious. If not then fair play to you, either way paragraphs would make it easier to read your posts. Just sayin.

          • It is all good you gave Crystal a very good laugh. We started a blog to document our journey with a female led relationship using enforced chastity. I only write what happens and our thoughts. I still enjoy your blog and will continue to read but I was under no illusion that some people would think it was fake. This is the internet after all. Soon you’ll see some homemade videos on our blog and you can judge for yourself till then keep up the good work.

  3. Hi Nick
    Glad you haven’t completely fallen out with me and apologies for my slightly brusque comments. I look forward to seeing your videos and I will keep an eye on your blog.
    It’s hard to explain to you why it reads like it’s fake. Generally speaking, blogs that appear and where everything is so fast and everything so seemingly perfect strike a warning bell, the blogs I know that are real have a different tone, but it may just be the way you are choosing to write, leaving out any ‘real life’ stuff and only highlighting the best bits.
    But that’s your choice to make. Either way, fake blogs never last long so it doesn’t really matter. Good luck with your blog.

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