Well, This is What Day 73 Feels Like…

Yes, it’s a new record for me, and each day adds to the new total… and of course, inevitably my thoughts turn to when I will finally be allowed a proper orgasm – and do I even want one?

Well, this is why ultimately the denied male needs a woman in control. Because for all that we want to be denied, when we’re teetering on the edge, the chemicals whizzing around our brain start telling us that we want to cum. We want it so bad, even though we know we will regret it afterwards. It’s almost inevitable.

So obviously now that the record is broken, I find myself in that position where I want to cum, but also don’t… and part of me wants to know how long it will take to break my resolve.

At these times, more than ever, I am so grateful to have such a wonderful Mistress to control my orgasms. It seems very likely now that my last proper orgasm on the 18th of October will be my last of 2017, but you just never know.


So I said in an earlier post that I am setting myself a target of six stories for 2018, well, I’ve already got one short one pretty much done, and I will probably post it here today or tomorrow. Of course I could save it for January but why take the easy route? It’s fairly short anyway, barely worth counting… 🙂

The Hour of Horniness… (1AM)

As I mentioned the other day, I’m currently reading ’22’s Depravity’… I don’t want to get into that too much here, I’ll save it for the review, save to say that I read a good few pages last night before I went to sleep and when Mistress R came to bed about an hour later I was incredibly horny. Given what happened yesterday, it just shows that a properly ruined orgasm leaves a guy just as horny as he was before – if not more so.

I was insanely horny and begged Mistress to let me touch my cock. I thought she might grab it herself but she told me I could stroke until the clock changed, so I get less than a minute of stroking in before she kissed me goodnight and told me to go to sleep. I cuddled against her and felt her pushing her gorgeous ass back against my poor throbbbing, aching, denied cock. It was an incredible mixture of pleasure and frustration, and I loved every single second of it.

I don’t know what it is about 1AM, but it always seems the time when I am the most ridiculously horny and desperate… I guess I’m warm, relaxed and if I’ve been reading filth before I go to bed it’s spinning around in the recesses of my mind working it’s magic. It’s the time of the night when I get that feeling I would do anything Mistress wanted, which is both exciting and scary… and I love it.

Oops, I did it Again!

Christmas has taken it’s toll, and it’s been eight days since I felt the bliss of Mistress cumming on my tongue. Thankfully that was remedied this evening, and then Mistress set about teasing my aching cock.

It’s been 71 days since my last proper orgasm, and nearly a month since my last ruined orgasm. I’ve only got to 71 days one other time, and never to 73. It’s a very real possibility that I could be starting the new year with 75 days under my belt…

It’s clear that Mistress wanted to edge me hard, she was pumping my cock and slapping my balls in tandem, and that is a very dangerous thing to do. But I’m guessing she wasn’t trying to ruin me, because when I finally warned her she didn’t tell me I could cum (which she usually does if she wants to ruin me)… but then again it felt pretty sudden to me so it may be that Mistress say the first leakage before I even realised it was happening.

Even as the cum was slowly seeping out and dripping down my cock I had the mindfulness to apologize, Mistress smiled and said she’d ‘let me off as it’s Christmas’. But she didn’t let me get away without thanking her ‘properly’, as I always have to in these situations.

I’m guessing, that little accident has probably increased the likelihood of setting a new record, because even if she was thinking about letting me cum tomorrow (or even the next day) I bet she won’t now. Maybe my new record will be in three figures? And maybe I’ll be ruined again before I’m allowed to cum properly… maybe even more than once?

Well, you know me by now. As long as I get to keep licking her delicious pussy and making her cum, she can make me wait as long as she wants to. 🙂

Happy Christmas…

I must admit I haven’t really visited ‘OrgasmDenial.com’ very often, if at all… but I had an email drop into my inbox advising that there had been some posts added to a thread I had contributed to several months ago.

The thread is called ‘Has Your Dominant Partner Decided To Only Allow You Ruined Orgasms From Now On?’…

For me, obviously the answer is no, or maybe… ‘not yet’??? Who knows.

While it sounds like an intriguing idea, it kind of negates the possibility of cumming inside Mistress R… which I’m not sure she would like to give up completely – and indeed I’m not sure I would either! I can think of at least one blog where it was stated that the sub had to ‘ruin’ inside his Mistress, but I’m not entirely sure how effective that would be. Even keeping very still you’d still have the sensation of a hot, wet pussy wrapped around your cock… but then again maybe that would make it more frustrating? I know Mistress sometimes strokes my cock with a featherlight touch as I’m leaking cum and it doesn’t ‘help’ any, I can tell you that! Hahaha.

I don’t know, this question pops up time and again and I’m not sure it’s ever really satisfactory to say ‘you will never have a proper orgasm again’. For one thing it removes the element of choice from the Mistress, surely it’s better to live with the ‘hope’ of having a real orgasm someday and to get ruined over and over again, always hoping that this time she won’t take her hand away just at the crucial moment…

I don’t really see the advantage of stating that there will be no more real orgasms versus just not allowing them. Mistress could make we wait indefinitely if she wanted to, but then, I guess maybe this situation only really arises when a couple have been practicing ruined only orgasms for some time and then this kind of statement is more of a formalization of something that has already been the case for some time. That would make a whole lot more sense.


A musician I follow sends me an email every week, a weekly newsletter – not a personal update you understand, though he does answer if you email him back (sometimes) – in which this week he expressed his feelings about Christmas and how he wants no part of it. In fact he’s playing at a festival on Christmas day – who knew there was such a thing?

I must admit, I’m quite in agreement with him in a lot of ways, though I can’t help thinking he’s speaking as a very ‘single’ man. I think the thing that bugs me about Christmas is the way everything grinds to a halt about three weeks before and takes about a month to recover from.

Once you get past the 1st of December you know there aren’t going to be any new albums coming out, you know the telly is going to start getting shit… lots of truly crappy ‘celebrity’ versions of programmes (which are inevitably shit) and this sort of spiral of inevitability about it which makes it a slog to finish out the last two weeks of work.

It annoys the fuck out of me as well when you try to plan things to do in January, to alleviate the dreariness of ‘post Christmas/New Year’ and you realise how difficult it actually is. In the past Mistress and I have bought tickets to a ‘movie costume’ exhibition at the V&A in London. Which was a great idea, but then we had really bad snow that week and we spent the whole week wondering whether we would even be able to get there – in the end we did, but it was a case of 90m on the train, rush to the V&A, rush through the exhibition and rush back home before it snowed again.

Another time we planned to visit the ‘Film Museum’ in London and it was pretty much closed for refurbishment during January. This is the thing… most people do fuck all in January so businesses take the opportunity to do maintenance or stuff like that when it’s quite for them. It’s understandable, but at the same time it creates this inevitable loop of ‘try and do something/don’t even bother’ for the first few weeks of the year.

This year we have managed to plan three things for January, which is great. Albeit it means we will be going to the theatre/going to a gig/going out with friends for a meal all in the space of a week. But still that’s better than nothing and it gives us the rest of the month to focus on being steadfastly glum and eating fruit and shit like that. 🙂


Some of you may remember my review of the book ’22’s Diary’ by Maitresse P earlier this year? Well Maitresse P left a comment thanking me for reviewing her book and promising me that the second book was better than the first, so the other day I blew an Amazon voucher on it and it duly arrived.

At first glance it looks like more care has been taken with it, albeit the spine and back cover are still blank. Seriously…

But anyway, I’ve started reading and so far it’s okay… which considering how fucking irritating the first book was is a positive start! I will write a proper review in time, but for now I think I’ll leave it at that.


So I guess now is the time to wish all my readers a Happy Christmas…

So, there… I did that.

This Year’s Stories…

Mentioning my writing made me think about the stories I wrote over the Summer, it’s so weird, I wrote them so fast pretty much one after another that I can barely remember most of them! Perhaps I should go back and read them… if you missed them here they are again.

A Broken Marriage Redefined (4.31/5.00 on Literotica)

A Parting Gift (3.36/5.00 on Literotica)

Cruel to be Kind (4.33/5.00 on Literotica)

Katrina Enjoys her Cuckold Slave (4.51/5.00 on Literotica)

Looking for the One (4.28/5.00 on Literotica)

Once a Month Chapter 3 (4.62/5.00 on Literotica)

Ready to Play (4.40/5.00 on Literotica)

Slutty Penny (3.52/5.00 on Literotica)

The Fantasy Game (4.16/5.00 on Literotica)

The V.I.P. Room (4.01/5.00 on Literotica)

In case you are wondering why the low scores for ‘A Parting Gift’ and ‘Slutty Penny’, these were posted in the ‘Loving Wives’ section of Literotica, which is supposed to be for ‘stories about cheating wives/girlfriends etc’ and yet for some bizarre reason if you post stories like that in there all you get is abuse and comments like ‘This shouldn’t be in Loving Wives’.

It’s weird… I don’t get why these people are so aggressive and abusive and why they bother to read stories they don’t agree with and actively try to vote them down. I mean I think stories about mind control and sex with aliens are stupid but I’m not going to go on Literotica and read those stories and abuse the authors – what the fuck is the point?

As I said I can hardly remember them, but the two I think I was most pleased with at the time were ‘Looking for the One’ and ‘Ready to Play’. ‘Katrina Enjoys Her Cuckold Slave’ was a real ballbreaker, that one took about a year to write if I remember correctly… you don’t want too many like that!

Anyway, if you haven’t already, then I hope you enjoy reading them (or re-reading them perhaps!).

FEMDOM SESSION: 17th December 2017

Yesterday we had our first Femdom session in nearly four months and it was FANTASTIC, and as usual as soon as it was over Mistress and I were both saying ‘that was amazing – how did we let it go so long without doing it’… so we’ve agreed to trying to squeeze another one in before the end of the year (albeit once Christmas starts it really depends on how many mince pies get eaten, so we’ll see).

This morning I went to update my stats page and realised that apart from two orgasms close together in October I hadn’t had a proper orgasm since our last Femdom session at the end of August.

So on the 28th of August I was allowed to jerk off on Mistress’s beautiful feet and lick them clean. 🙂

Then on the 2nd of September I had an accidental ruined orgasm while Mistress was teasing me.

Then on 27th of September Mistress gave me a deliberately ruined orgasm.

Then came two proper orgasms, first on the 8th of October Mistress rode me and allowed me to cum inside her, before sitting on my face and letting me lick her clean. 🙂

And then ten days later Mistress sucked my cock on the sofa downstairs before letting me spray all over her gorgeous tits and lick them clean. 🙂 🙂 🙂

On the 8th of November Mistress ruined me again and then on the last day of that month she teased me just a little bit too hard and again I ruined accidentally.

Actually it’s perhaps not that unusual, but it means I went 41 days, then 10 days and now 61 days and counting… sure there were four ruins in there as well, but contrast the difference to the first five months of this chastity year where I had one ruined and one proper orgasm each month.

What’s more my current ration to Mistress is 11.7/1, which is good to see. Obviously when I cum next that will drop, but I think it’s looking good for at least 10/1 again over the year. 🙂

Anyway, enough about the statistics… let’s talk about the session.

So after such a gap, I always find it rather stressful approaching a session. It’s silly, but it just seems somewhat daunting, I don’t really know why… perhaps because it’s always so good that the fear of a ‘bad’ session looms when you haven’t done it for so long. The thing is I don’t think we’ve ever had a ‘bad’ session, and we’ve said before there’s been many a time that we’ve not felt particularly into it or we’ve felt a bit ill, but within a couple of minutes of starting the adrenaline kicks in and you forget all about it.

So as usual I started the session on my knees with my wrist and ankle cuffs on and this time a blindfold as well. Also Mistress had instructed me to wear the Oxballs Cocksling, something I haven’t used since our Femdom session in April, and I allowed plenty of time to get it on – actually it went on first time and so I took it off again and waited a few minutes to put it back on (the Oxballs is awesome, but it’s very snug and sometimes it can start to sting after a long period of wear so starting the session with five minutes of wear is not the smart choice!).

Obviously, having gone nearly four months without a session it was clear that there was going to be some punishment due, and Mistress duly dispensed some stinging blows with the whip and then the paddle. I am such a wuss when it comes to spanking, it’s really rather embarrassing! I bet Mistress isn’t even really hitting that hard but it stings like a bastard for a second or two, God only knows how the caning brigade can stand it, cos I know I couldn’t.

Punishment over (for the moment at least) Mistress moved onto the bed and grabbed her glass dildo from the bedside table. I’m sure the whipping and paddling had already started working it’s magic on Mistress’s pussy and I soon found the glass cock in my mouth so that I could get it wet for her.

I was ordered to worship her gorgeous feet and all the time I was trying to concentrate on that she gave me a running commentary on what she was doing up above me. With the Cocksling on I was kind of semi hard, but then Mistress started pushing my buttons with some ‘cuckold’ talk, telling me how much she’d love to have another cock to play with while I worshiped her feet on my knees. It was pretty incredible, I guess within a few seconds my cock went from ‘semi-interested’ to ‘fuck me this cocksling is tight!‘.

My cock was literally throbbing and it hadn’t even been touched… and it felt AMAZING!

As a couple who are dead against involving a third party, it was still incredibly hot to hear her say those things and I hope she realises how much I liked it and the remarkable effect it had on my cock!

After allowing me to taste her gorgeous pussy from the dildo (‘that’s it suck that cock clean for me’) Mistress eventually got off the bed and gave my throbbing cock a quick stroke, before helping me on to the bed. She told me to get on all fours and then it was time for more paddling. It started okay, but quickly started to sting, Mistress stroked my cock a few times between hits and… it’s funny, I always remember when I think about this – being in the shop saying I wanted to get this paddle and her saying ‘Are you sure, it’s going to hurt?’… still it’s worth it when I know how wet it makes her using it on me. 🙂

Once the paddling had stopped Mistress tied me down on my back and then stood over me, she had me beg her to remove the blindfold and I was greeted with the sight of her standing over me in her cupless PVC top and skirt. She looked incredible, I’ve always been more of an ass-man than a tit-man, and I still am, but damn Mistress’s tits are fucking stunning!

Now I was made to suck her ‘cock’ once again before she lifted her skirt to reveal those crotchless panties that push her pussy lips forward – fuck me they are amazing – and allowed me to watch as she slid it into her wet pussy. Before long she had dispensed with the dildo and I got to taste just how wet she really was, and utterly delicious too!

Mistress spent the next little while standing over me and teasing me with the sight of her sexy ass, while she stroked my cock and used the little cock whip on my cock and balls. That was pretty stingy too, it’s a lot more intense when your balls are pulled tight, but I managed not to wuss out completely.

Then she knelt down beside me and told me to watch her as she bent forward and took my straining cock into her mouth. She looked so incredible, I have missed seeing my gorgeous wife in Mistress mode so much…

She asked me if I wanted to cum, or if I wanted to keep going… she said she might ask me later, but even if she did it would still be her decision. I was so torn, indeed this is why it’s better to not have the choice, do you take the easy route and then regret it, or do you take the harder route, knowing that overall the reward will be worth giving up that momentary spike of pleasure for…. so tough!

Mistress then declared that it was time I had something in my ass and grabbed my new (larger) glass dildo. I was a bit hesitant since I hadn’t had anything in my ass since August, but despite a little resistance at first, once the head was in it slid in relatively easily and felt really nice… it stays in as well, which the other one never did.

Then Mistress clipped pegs onto my nipples and left me alone for a few minutes. This is usually when I lose my hard-on and the Oxballs starts to sting, but though I did go a little soft, it still seemed ‘there’ and the Oxballs didn’t sting at all.

I was happy to take it off though, when Mistress came back. Though not before she’d taken the pegs off my nipples and untied me. It’s so twisted, but I just love the smile on Mistress’s face when she pulls those pegs off, she fucking loves it when I wince in pain! 🙂

Now it was time to worship Mistress’s gorgeous pussy properly and this time she kept the crotchless panties on. They look incredible and Mistress was so wet and slippery I’m sure I could have just slide my fingers inside her right away, but I love it so much and I always love to kiss around her thighs first and make it last…

Mistress seemed super turned on and (I could be way off) but it felt to me like I could make her cum really quickly if I wanted to, so I tried to hold back a little and make it last. A couple of times I thought she was getting too close and changed up what I was doing a bit and I managed to spin it out a little, but it was still relatively quick. When Mistress finally came I had one finger teasing her ass, one gently rubbing the inner front wall of her pussy and my tongue on her clit and she came HARD. It was incredible for both of us… when you are denied like I am, your partner’s orgasms are everything and this made me so happy, to feel her cumming so hard, so long and so intensely… you can’t beat it. 🙂

Once Mistress had recovered she had me lie down again and started stroking my cock while I gazed up once again at her gorgeous pussy and ass. She had me beg to worship her ass and as I probed her hole with my tongue she stroked me hard. Usually this can be challenging, especially if I’ve been denied a long while but today I seemed to be able to stay away from the edge relatively easily, which meant that I got to worship Mistress’s ass five times before she finally managed to edge me (largely because she started slapping my balls while she was stroking me, that always does it!).

While she was teasing me inbetween asslickings, she asked me if I’d thought about her earlier question. I said that I couldn’t decide between the two, well… actually I said I wanted both – which is much the same thing, but technically different I guess! I must admit, I really, really wanted to cum… but at the same time, I really didn’t want to have to go back to day one again. Day one sucks!

In the event Mistress decided that she wasn’t going to let me cum and after one last ball slap she told me the session was over.

Well, what can I say. It was awesome! I just can’t believe we let it slide for so long… I just hope we manage to fit one more in before the end of the year, eight would be a respectable number for a year.. but we’ve already improved on last year when we only managed six, so that’s a positive step in the right direction.


Just a quick update on my latest Milovana webtease ‘House of Edging: Amber Sym’, so far it’s been viewed 11,500 times and has a score of 4.3/5.0 so should be in the running for December’s ‘Tease of the Month’. Presumably sometime around February as they’ve just launched October’s poll… I didn’t do one for October, but ‘House of Edging: Stella Cox’ should be in the running for the November one.

I’ve had plenty of positive feedback in the Milovana forum from people who appreciate the hard work that goes into these things. I can’t see me doing another one for a little while, but then I didn’t anticipate doing this one quite so soon after the last one.

I have a couple of ideas for the next one, but they are going to be quite complicated to work out, so I don’t really know if they will come to fruition, or if they do if they are a step too far?

Anyway, we’ll see…

It’s getting to that time of year again where people start thinking about their goals for next year. Last year I said I wanted to write at least four stories, and I smashed that with ease. In the end I wrote nine stories… albeit in the space of about 4.5 months over the summer. So I don’t think it’s too OTT to plan to do at least six this coming year, but hopefully a lot more. I think as it shows, once you get on a roll it’s easy to keep going, it’s getting started that’s the problem.

I also want to spend some time next year writing music, as I haven’t written anything for four years. And I haven’t written anything good for nearly 6 years, more to the point!

I guess I will take a moment and make some more concrete plans before the end of the year. I keep looking at self publishing, because I would really love to have a physical printed copy of my stories on my bookshelf (actually I think it would need to be more than one book now) but every time I start looking into it it just seems such hard work.

I’m sure it’s not that difficult, I think the first thing to do would be to get all my stories proof read again and all lined up on one Word doc ready to go and then look further into it. It would be a print on demand kind of book, as I’m not sure how many people would be interested in buying a book, especially when the stories are available here and on Literotica for free. Maybe I should include one or two new stories as a thank you to people who decided to buy the book? Let me know what you think…

My Latest Milovana Tease is Available Now…

So the past few nights I’ve been working hard to finalise this, the latest in the ‘House of Edging’ series. Once again I’ve produced a map for those who like to complete every room or who perhaps need a little help working their way around.

As always, if you want any help or guidance, feel free to leave a comment and I will do my best to help you.

Hope you enjoy the maze.

 

 

You can find ‘House of Edging: Amber Sym’ HERE

Seven Weeks and Counting…

For some reason, I really thought Mistress was going to let me cum today. Well not initially, but when she climbed on top of me and slid down on my cock, then I really thought she was going to let me cum inside her before she straddled my face and let me lick her clean.

But no. It all started with a lovely orgasm for Mistress R and then some stroking, sucking and slapping for me while I gently teased her ass (I can’t say for sure of course, but since I’ve been taking these higher strength l’arginine tablets, I seem to be staying hard a lot easier, which is nice – put me down for another couple of crates of those things!). And then Mistress got on top, which felt great…

Seven weeks down the line though, I couldn’t even think about asking her to remove her bra. Not a chance in hell. Indeed it wasn’t long before I was fighting the urge to cum, and all the time thinking ‘surely she’s going to start riding me hard and tell me to shoot inside her any second’…

But it didn’t happen. She could tell I was struggling and she said ‘Is there something you want to tell me?’.

I conceded I was getting too close for comfort and Mistress lifted off and lay down beside me, giving me a few seconds to compose myself before stroking me some more. As we kissed I reached down and teased her ass again, and then once I’d backed sufficiently far away from the edge I asked to worship her asshole.

Mistress made me beg a little and then straddled me and lowered her gorgeous ass towards my tongue. As I licked and teased her asshole she stroked my cock and it wasn’t long before I was getting close again, she paused a couple of times, allowing me to regain control, before asking if I wanted more (of course!)…

After the third time Mistress lifted off and lay down beside me again. She said ‘Maybe next time I let you cum I will let you cum inside me, would you like that?’.

I said ‘Yes’, of course… and she told me that was it for today. I begged for more and she allowed me ten more strokes or slaps. “Do you want strokes or slaps or a mixture?”.

I went for a mixture and Mistress delivered four slaps to my balls and six hard strokes to my aching cock before finally calling time. 🙂


It’s been 49 days today (seven weeks in fact) since I was last allowed to cum (18th Oct). But it was only a week ago that I had my unauthorised ‘ruin’ – so maybe hoping for a full orgasm was a little optimistic.

Or maybe Mistress has my 72 day record in her sights? Maybe I don’t get to cum again until New Year?

The Sex Robots are Coming…

Here in the UK Channel 4 is running a series of programmes about ‘The Rise of the Robots’, Mistress and I have just watched one of these called ‘The Sex Robots are Coming’. It follows a company in the USA which is building a sex robot called ‘Harmony’ and is aiming to be the first ‘interactive’ sex doll on the the market.

I’m afraid I find this all rather creepy and weird, in fact the whole ‘Real Doll’ thing is a bit strange if you ask me, but then I’m conscious that the things that Mistress and I get up to aren’t everybody’s cup of tea, so… you know, as long as it’s not hurting anyone I don’t see an issue.

And sure, these robots could have practical uses for people with disabilities or sexual trauma perhaps, or simply people who are lonely – and who am I to judge people for that? But on the other hand, given the price tag I suspect most of these will be bought (at least initially) by affluent, middle class guys who probably have wives already, but want something ‘always available’.

And I can’t help but wonder if these things aren’t going to cause more problems than they solve. After all, why go to the trouble of getting someone ‘in the mood’ when you know you can always rely on your doll? It’s going to be like having a wife and a booty call girlfriend always on demand, how can it not end up affecting the ‘real’ relationship?

Plus, there’s the obvious knock-on effects… if you get used to having sex with an inanimate object, where you can fuck them in any hole whenever you like, however you like, with no cause to worry about hygiene or infection and no need to worry about causing accidental discomfort or pain, how will that play out when you have sex with a living breathing woman?

Never mind how the woman feels about the fact that she’s in ‘competition’ with your robot/doll.

And what happens when these manufacturers turn their attention to the ignored female market and produce a ‘male robot doll’ that can be fitted with whatever sized cock the owner wants, that can fuck all night, precisely how hard/slow/fast/rough/gentle she wants it… how are the male ‘doll fans’ going to react to that?

Seems to me this is just another area where people are going to withdraw from human interaction and live in their own world, obsessed with their phone, ordering food from Just Eat and fucking their robot ‘wife’.

Jesus Christ, the world really is fucked isn’t it?