My name is Rob, and if you’ve been given this letter then the chances are that what I’m about to tell you may come as a bit of a surprise.
But first, I’d just like to say, I have literally nothing to gain (personally) from this except perhaps the eternal gratitude of your partner. I’m saying partner because I don’t know anything about your relationship, I don’t know anything about you and in all honesty I don’t really know anything about your partner either.
But if he’s printed this letter and given it to you then I know two things.
1) He reads my blog.
2) He wants to make you happy and your relationship stronger.
Now the first thing I would say is, please don’t go looking for my blog or asking your partner to show it to you. In fact please do not drop this letter half way though and rush off to Google looking for answers, I know that’s what we all do these days, but please, trust me, this is a terrible, terrible idea. When it comes to what I’m about to tell you, the internet is so full of nonsense that the chances of you getting anything like the truth are a million to one against.
Oh and before I go on, I should perhaps say that I’m not writing this alone. I’m doing most of the writing here, but I will be collaborating with my wife (who for the purposes of this letter we shall call Miss R – it’s far too complicated to explain that right now, maybe we can come back to that at a later date). The reason why I will be collaborating with her, is because just over six years ago I had a very difficult conversation with her, a conversation that your partner desperately wants to have with you.
Knowing what I went through that night I’m not surprised your partner is worried to talk to you and open his soul to you, but it was the best thing I ever did and despite her initial reluctance and confusion, Miss R wouldn’t swap what we have now for the way we used to live for the first seventeen years of our marriage.
So what exactly are we talking about here?
Well, would you like a more attentive partner?
A partner who puts your pleasure first?
A partner whose focus is on ensuring that you are happy and satisfied?
Maybe even a partner who would selflessly give you pleasure without ‘expecting’ the same in return?
Does this sound good so far? There must be a catch right… well, no. There’s no catch, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be simple. Nothing worth having is easy, right? So yes it’s going to take a bit of work from both of you, the good news is that hopefully if your partner has gone to the trouble of printing this letter out, then he’s in the right frame of mind to make this work for both of you.
Now let’s talk about your partner a little bit. If he’s printed this letter and given it to you the chances are he’s been thinking about this for a while, maybe a long while, maybe it’s even something he’s thought about for years but never dared tell you. So, if you read this letter and come to the conclusion that this is absolutely not for you, then please consider your partner’s feelings. Right now he is probably absolutely terrified of what you are going to say to him when you’ve finished reading this letter, and if nothing else I think you should credit him with tremendous balls for taking the risk he has to share this with you.
Okay, enough of the waffle. Thank you for reading this far, and please try and keep an open mind. I know it will sound bizarre at first and go completely against everything you think you know, but honestly, if you can get past the initial strangeness you will reap the benefits and have a stronger marriage with a deeply devoted husband who puts you first sexually.
Okay, so what would you say if I told you that in the last six years my wife has orgasmed over 700 separate times, while I have orgasmed only about 100 times? It’s okay, do the maths, she orgasms somewhere between twice and three times a week on average, whereas I orgasm about once every three weeks… we practice what is called ‘Male Chastity’.
Now again I cannot stress this strongly enough, but please DO NOT search the internet. It will distort the truth and will lead you into making all sorts of assumptions that are completely incorrect and flat out fantastical. Male Chastity does not mean anything other than that your partner wants to give control of his pleasure to you. It doesn’t mean he has to do anything else, there’s no requirement to buy any equipment or products. He just wants you to decide when he is allowed to orgasm.
Now I know that sounds ridiculous, but again, please think about how stressed your partner is right now, knowing that you are reading this. He wants this, he must do or you wouldn’t be reading this, and if you can see past how odd this sounds and embrace it, you will be the richer for it, I promise you. There will be struggles and setbacks along the way, and you have to take it at your own pace. It may be that you try it and then leave it, and then try it again, until you are comfortable with it, but remember this is about you and giving you control. If your partner wants this to work, and he clearly does, then he needs to work at your pace – and this is perhaps the first ground rule you need to establish.
So, let’s talk about what ‘Male Chastity’ is, and perhaps what it isn’t… especially if you’ve ignored my advice and Googled it.
Male Chastity does not mean that he doesn’t want to have sex with you. On the contrary, he wants to have more sex with you, but with the focus on your pleasure.
Male Chastity does not mean that he doesn’t want to have penetrative sex with you. But for reasons which will become clear, the chances are your sex life will probably become less ‘penetration’ based, but as a result probably better than it ever was before – because, and forgive me for saying this again, but it will be based around pleasing you.
A huge side-effect (and bonus for you) is that as the frequency of orgasms diminish for the male, so the pleasure he gets from your orgasms increase. Your pleasure becomes his ‘focus’ and his ‘goal’. Alongside that you will find that he will become more loving and indeed there is a scientific reason for this. Orgasm in the male promotes the manufacture of testosterone in the body, and causes him to lose interest in you. It’s not his fault it’s genetic, but deny his orgasm and you keep him wanting you. There’s a lot more scientific data about this that you might wish to look into eventually but for now, please let’s just take my word for it (I really want you to resist Googling anything to do with Male Chastity).
And here’s something else to know, male pleasure is not derived from orgasm itself, but the seconds leading up to it. You know how some women can experience multiple orgasms? Well guys can’t do that because once they’ve orgasmed they enter the refractory period. But if you take a guy close to orgasm, very very close… but stop just short, he will experience 95% of the pleasure he would have got from being taken all the way over. And you can do this again and again, because he won’t be in the refractory period.
Isn’t that cruel though? Teasing him and denying him?
Here’s the thing. You and every other woman in the world have been taught that male pleasure = male orgasm. It’s what you know and it makes sense, and what I’m telling you makes no sense, right? And yet, your partner feels so strongly about this that he’s printed off a letter written by someone he’s never met from a website just so he can go through the stress of having you read it and hopefully give it a chance. So what does that tell you?
I will tell you this, being teased and denied is absolutely fantastic. Maybe it’s a deep rooted thing from our teenage years, I for one had the sort of girlfriend who left me hanging regularly, and maybe that sowed the seeds. Think back to your own teenage years, there must have been times when you know your boyfriend went home horny and desperate, some guys see it negatively and label girls ‘prick-teasers’, but some guys love the frustration, the ‘ache’ and it just makes them want you all the more, and that can’t be bad – right?
There’s only so much I can tell you here, and I don’t want to swamp you, I’m sure you’re already feeling confused and overwhelmed. Just know your partner truly wants this and if you embrace it there’s a good chance you’ll look back on this letter as the start of something wonderful. It may well be that in a few years time you’ll look back and thank your lucky stars that your partner loved you and trusted you enough to give you this letter, but remember – please don’t go looking on the internet for Male Chastity, you’ll be doing yourself a huge disservice.
Instead, communicate with your partner. Let him guide you. No one is going to print this letter on a whim, so he’s obviously well aware of what he needs to show and tell you, even if it might be difficult for him to say it outright. Perhaps you could make it easier for him, by asking him to write down his thoughts and letting you read it at your leisure. But most importantly, make it about you.
When my wife agreed to 24/7 Male Chastity, she told me that in return she wouldn’t allow me to initiate penetrative sex. I had no idea why she said that at the time, but that rule still stands today. That’s not to say we don’t have penetrative sex, because we do… but when we do it’s because she decides she wants me inside her and that’s the difference. That doesn’t mean you have to do the same, but it does show you in a small way just how you can make your sex life better for you.
And trust me, if your partner has printed this letter and given it to you, he wants this to work and he will agree to pretty much anything that makes you happy.
But don’t rush into this, I suggest you read this letter a few times over the next few days and let your thoughts settle. Tell him you’ve read it and you’re thinking about it, don’t talk about it now, I’ve already told him to expect to have to wait a while. Just let it sit and think how your sex life and marriage could be better, I promise you when you’re ready to talk he will be very receptive.
Thank you for reading this letter, and for considering your partner’s wishes. I sincerely hope that this letter will be the start of something great for your relationship, but please remember there will be times when it’s difficult, when it doesn’t go to plan. You will need to learn some new skills, and unlearn some things you think you’ve always known. But in the long run, it will be worth it. I promise you.
Robert Anthony (with Miss R)