Making Things Happen…

In the D/s scene, a lot is written about ‘topping from the bottom’ and how terrible it is, but truthfully, you have to be realistic about things and realise that if you are the one with the kink, you have to take the lead in the first instance (and potentially beyond).

So let’s say you have a kink, I have a perfect example… ass worship. You all know how much I love to worship Mistress R’s ass, right? Well I can still remember the first time I told her about this, we were in my car driving home from somewhere and I dropped it into a conversation… I’m trying to work out how this came about but I remember saying something to the effect that I had done it with my previous girlfriend anyway…

Now, how do you think Mistress reacted to that? Well of course you might think that the minute we got home Mistress R peeled off her panties, bent over the sofa and pulled my head between her parted cheeks, and that would have been awesome of course (indeed I’m still trying for that kind of thing now) but… I can tell you that did not happen. If I recall correctly, Mistress pulled a kind of ‘disgusted’ face and said something to similar effect.

So how come then I fairly regularly post on here about how Mistress has me worship her ass? Well, this is the thing. If we strictly adhere to the idea that topping from the bottom is bad, things are going nowhere. Truth be told I can’t exactly remember what was said or how long it took because the original conversation was a very, very long time ago, but I gently persisted until Mistress got her head around the idea that I genuinely wanted to do it, and then I guess once she’d done it once and seen how much I loved doing it and that nothing bad happened, well I guess it didn’t seem like quite such a big deal.

I mean, I guess it’s different if you’ve both tried literally everything and you know what works for you and what doesn’t, but in most circumstances that’s unlikely to be the case and so you have to be patient and make the effort to make things happen.

So if by ‘topping from the bottom’ people mean that you shouldn’t do that then I think you are likely to experience a long, frustrating decline into apathy and failure. Why? Because the idea that you set up a relationship where everything is done for the woman’s pleasure flounders when that woman doesn’t possess endless creativity and/or sexual adventurousness. In other words, unless you seriously think your Mistress will stumble on your particular kink eventually, and therefore when she does it will be ‘her idea’ (and therefore not topping from the bottom) it might be useful if you can make suggestions and/or be able to nudge things along a little from time to time.

I’m not knocking the idea that a Femdom relationship should be pursued with the idea of the woman’s pleasure being paramount, but… sometimes surely it’s necessary to expose her to possibilities she may never have even considered, and that includes things that you probably think are ‘normal’ (ie: anything you’ve seen on Pornhub).

For example, Mistress and I indulge in ass worship, ball slapping and male chastity, to name just three things off the top of my head. How many of those things do you think Mistress initiated?

(By the way, the purpose of this post is not to criticise my Mistress for her ‘lack of imagination‘, it’s to highlight the point that for many (if not most) women, these things just may not be on their radar full stop and that if you don’t make the suggestion then you have to take the chance that there’s every possibility that she may never think of it.)

If I hadn’t suggested it, do you seriously think Mistress would have ever come to me and said ‘How do you fancy me giving your balls a really good slapping?’. I don’t think so. And what about chastity, do you think Mistress would have ever said to me ‘I was thinking, I’d really like to tease and deny you for a couple of months, while having you eat my pussy three times a week’… that’s a dream woman scenario right there isn’t it? And why is it a dream scenario – because it almost never happens!

Okay, you say, but aren’t you then focusing on your pleasure and not your Mistress’s pleasure?

To which I would counter with ‘but how will she ever know if she gets pleasure from doing these things if they never enter her head?’

Maybe she’ll love slapping your balls once she gets into it, maybe she’ll love watching you struggle on the edge as she teases you. Fair enough if she doesn’t, but also there’s another possibility to consider, maybe she enjoys the ‘effect’ it has on you?

For example, I don’t know that Mistress gets huge pleasure directly from ass worship, but she loves the effect it has on me, and the only reason she knows that is because she tried it. Look at my Mistress and ruined orgasms, it took about 3-4 years for Mistress to get comfortable with the idea but she really seems to quite enjoy doing it now…. funny that.

Some might suggest that in a ‘proper’ Femdom relationship you might possibly suggest things once and then leave it up to your Mistress to decide if she wants to try it or not. That’s one approach, but I doubt it will be terribly fruitful.

I agree on paper it sounds kind of flaky, but in real life if you want results you probably have to make some attempt to make it happen.

You know, I feel like I’ve written this article before, but I think I binned it because it sounds really bad, but I’m not talking about bullying your partner or coercing her into doing what YOU want. If your partner has a clear red-line on a particular area then absolutely you should respect that.

All I’m saying is that if, as is probably the case, you are the kinkier one in the relationship, then as much as you’d like your Mistress to have these great ‘ideas’, it probably won’t happen unless you find a way to bring them to her attention.

So, the reason I’m saying all this really is that I haven’t forgotten about the letter that we want to publish for you to give to your wife to introduce her to the chastity lifestyle, but the more I think about it the more I realise that if you want to use this letter you better be prepared to work for what you want. There’s a limit to what we can achieve with a simple non-bespoke, non-specific letter. The main objective of the letter is to let your partner know what male chastity is about (in very simple terms) and that while it might seem weird at first, if she embraces it the pay-off will be worth it.

In other words, the purpose of the letter is really an ice-breaker. We get past the point where you have to sit her down cold and tell her what you want, because I know how hard that is. It’ll still be hard, even when she’s read the letter, I promise you that. But at least you won’t have to start the conversation, and at least she will have the voice of another woman in her head telling her it’s okay, don’t freak out.

Nobody knows for sure what success rate it will have, because it all depends on you and your partner’s own particular dynamic, not to mention how you respond. But the point is, once the ice is broken and the subject is raised you need to be ready with answers to the questions she’s going to have, and you need to be prepared to ‘lead’ her to some extent, because the chances are she’s going to be a little at sea to begin with.

Just imagine turning everything you think you know about your partner’s sexual needs on it’s head. Just imagine if it was her telling you that she wanted you to tease her for weeks at a time, edging her and not letting her cum. How would you feel? Confused, probably. Enthusiastic, hopefully. Accepting, maybe…

Think of it another way, how much do you love making your wife cum? I fucking adore making Mistress R cum, so how would I feel? Not so easy when the boot is on the other foot, eh? But, if I could see that she genuinely got off on being frustrated (like I do) then I would make it my mission to frustrate her like she’d never dreamed of, and take absolute pleasure from watching her suffer.

Would I ever have suggested doing that to her though, I very much doubt it. So anyway, to conclude… the letter is coming, but I just want to make it clear that it’s not going to be some sort of golden ticket granting immediate and total access to the chastity lifestyle, it’s a key to the door and anything beyond that is going to be largely on your shoulders to instigate.

A Lovely Start to the Day and the CFNM Peppermint Foot Lotion Experience…

Mistress and I went to a gig last night, which meant a long drive home (seemingly no band we like ever plays within 90mins of where we live!) and a late night. I woke up about 7:15 (my usual ‘get-up’ time) but tried to get back to sleep… didn’t really, just had weird half dreams about stupid things like trying to swat flies with a tea-towel, or something…

A bit after nine I turned over and Mistress woke up too, she reached under the covers and fortunately my belated morning wood had arrived. She pushed the covers off us both and lay on her back stroking my cock while I gazed at her naked gorgeousness. I can’t think of a better way to start a Sunday morning…

After a while I reached over and touched Mistress’s beautiful breasts and started teasing her a little with my fingers. She didn’t object and I licked my fingers and gently started teasing her a little more. Now I know what you’re thinking, but it wasn’t my intention to ‘initiate’ penetration (cos that’s not allowed, after all…), but I really wanted to touch her and thought maybe she might want me to lick her pussy and make her cum.

But after a while Mistress told me she wanted me inside her and so I quickly moved on top of her, pausing to quickly lick her delicious pussy a couple of times, before sliding my cock inside her. It’s been oooh let me just check…sixteen weeks since I’ve been inside Mistress and been on top, and it felt so good to be in control and able to thrust into her silky smooth pussy. I lifted her smooth sexy legs up and kissed her gorgeous feet while I continued stroking in and out of her, it was soooooooooooooo good.

Inevitably, the edge beckoned a little sooner than I might have hoped and… I did kind of uhh ‘presume’ that Mistress would tell me to keep going and cum inside her – albeit I was only allowed to cum the other day, so I probably should have known better. But, well.. I was getting close, on top and inside Mistress, so – you know, a man gotta have hope right! 🙂

But when I told Mistress I was getting close, she paused for a second and said ‘You had better stop then’, I must admit I did manage to sneak another couple of strokes in before Mistress put her hand on my chest and pushed me back gently, clearly intimating that I should definitely pull out…

I wasn’t entirely sure what would happen next, I actually thought would just be it, but no, Mistress grabbed my cock, then told me to lie on my back and started pumping me quite fast and hard. I had come away from the edge a bit by now and so it took a little while for me to warn her again that I was close again. I still didn’t know at this point whether Mistress intended for me to cum or not, especially since if she did then I would have expected her to let me cum inside her…

But instead Mistress took me close a further three times, before finally ruining my orgasm and then feeding me my cum from her fingers. It was absolutely fantastic and just what I needed. I really wanted to make Mistress cum straight away, but she decided she wanted to wait until later in the day, which I’m really looking forward to! 🙂 🙂 🙂

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The other day someone left a comment here which I wasn’t entirely sure if it was spam or not, but the message was that my blog is very text heavy and could do with some pictures to break up the mass of words for the reader.

What do you guys think about that? Would you like to see more pics in my posts? What about this one…

After our morning fun I had a quick shower and when I got out Mistress happened to say that she was going to put some Peppermint Foot Lotion on her feet (she’d been wearing heels at the gig last night). Obviously I wasn’t going to let her do that herself when she has me to do it for her, so I knelt naked at her feet (she was fully dressed by now) and rubbed the foot lotion into her gorgeous feet while she watched TV. I really loved it, I just wish Mistress would call on me to do things like that for her…

Today has been a super-relaxed Sunday for us, which we’ve both really enjoyed and there’s still Mistress’s orgasm to look forward to… sweet! 🙂 🙂 🙂

A Fantastic Afternoon…

It’s hot here today, and Mistress and I don’t do hot. Nevertheless, we ventured out for a walk (and I think my face has caught the sun slightly), and came back rather overheated. We’ve had a lot on these last few days, so we both really wanted to make sure we had some time together today, and so after we both got showered we adjourned to the (rather warm) bedroom.

After Mistress had her orgasm, she asked me if I wanted my cock ring on. I decided to try not using it today, because I was hard for ages this morning. I was a little slow to get hard, but Mistress helped me along by standing over me and displaying her gorgeous pussy and ass. After a little begging Mistress allowed to worship her sexy asshole three times, after which my cock felt a good bit firmer!

Mistress continued to suck and stroke me and then lay down with her feet near my head. She offered me her foot to kiss and I felt my cock getting harder still. I fucking love Mistress’s beautiful feet and worshiping them while she sucked my cock was spectacular.

Mistress decided I was hard enough to ride and slid me inside her. It felt so amazing being inside her hot, wet pussy and I just had to ask her to remove her bra so I could see her amazing breasts while she rode me. At first Mistress slapped my balls and told me I was being too ‘demanding’ (sooooooo hot!) but eventually she softened and allowed me to beg again…

She told me to close my eyes and then when she allowed to open them again her sexy tits were bare and I couldn’t help but reach up and touch them. Mistress continued riding my cock for some time and when she finally got off me she grabbed my cock and started pumping me hard and fast.

I wasn’t expecting to be allowed to cum, I only had a ruined orgasm a few nights ago, and I wasn’t really getting that much closer. As Mistress was stroking me I begged her to slap my balls, and she delivered a volley of slaps which felt absolutely fucking incredible and my cock got even harder.

Despite all the gorgeous things Mistress had done for me today, allowing me to worship her ass and her feet, letting me see her beautiful breasts and engulfing my cock inside her hot, wet, silky smooth pussy, not to mention slapping my balls when I asked her to… when she called a halt I couldn’t resist asking her to slap my balls just one more time. I could’ve taken such a hard slap, and I wanted it really hard… but Mistress gave me a slap like the earlier ones. It was great, but I wanted it sooooo much harder,  the kind that hurts if you’re not ready for it, and I was so ready for it!

But still, it was an amazing hour and I hope Mistress lets me worship her feet while she teases me in future, because that was awesome!


Valentine’s Day Voucher!

How was your Valentine’s Day? Ours was pretty good, we had a lovely meal at home and Mistress gave me a voucher which means that ‘if’ she allows me to cum in March, then I get to choose were to cum (and where to lick my cum up from as well, obviously).

I really want to cum on her gorgeous breasts, but I just know that when it comes down to it I’ll probably choose to cum on her beautiful feet instead. I love coming on her feet, it just seems appropriate for a submissive slave…

So as you can imagine, it leaves me somewhat torn… I love cumming on Mistress’s feet, it’s so fucking hot… but at the same time, I love cumming on her breasts and ass too. So this voucher is kind of cruel in a bizarre way, because it makes me choose one place to cum, or more to the point it makes me choose not to cum on the other places I would like to.

I just know I’m going to end up picking her feet… even if I make my mind up to choose something else, at the last second I bet I end up cumming all over her gorgeous, perfectly manicured feet and licking it right off her toes.

Throbbing in the Early Hours of the Morning…

Last night I went to bed before Mistress, although it was still quite late. When Mistress came to be I woke up and we cuddled and kissed, then Mistress stroked my cock gently and I was so ridiculously hard. I was so desperate to cum, but of course all Mistress wanted to do was tease me and let me go to sleep throbbing…

It was awesome.

Tonight I made Mistress cum again, which was lovely. I wasn’t really feeling that great, but my cock soon got hard when Mistress began stroking it. It kinda wavered a bit in the middle and then got hard again towards the end of my teasing session. It wasn’t as incredible as last night, but it was still great.


Shifty Nick the Bachelor Returns!

Rejoice, for the US version of the Bachelor is back on TV (and thanks to a slightly naughty downloading site we got to see it too here in the UK). We’ve dabbled with the Australian version, but truthfully it was pretty lame, except for Bachelor number two, Blake, who despite coming over as Mr Sensitive Nice Guy (and passable Barrack Obama impersonator) turned out to be a colossal bastard!

Of course there was a UK version too, but it was utter shite. I believe there was a couple of series that were supposed to be serious, but then came Rugby player and professional blouse Gavin Henson, who spectacularly picked the wrong woman in the final, and then after that we had professional knobhead Spencer Matthews (who had a girlfriend all along)… what a waste of everyone’s time. I mean really.

Still, thankfully Chris Harrison and the gang are back, only this time they have a rather controversial Bachelor in (shifty) Nick, a man who’s already appeared on two seasons of the Bachelorette (once where he got rejected in the final and went on to slut-shame the Bachelorette on live TV) and once where he got passed over (again) in the final and disappeared into the night, heartbroken and devastated.

Shifty as Nick was/is, it was hard not to feel sorry for him, after all being dumped once on national TV was bad enough, but this guy got shafted twice (actually he did the shafting, technically, once in the Fantasy Suite and once in a bathroom). But then he went and did a season of Bachelor in Paradise, a show which is immensely silly and immensely entertaining at the same time. And it was all going so well…

While Chad made an absolute arse of himself and ended up getting thrown off the show for calling Sarah a one-armed bitch (no really), the twins whined pathetically, Vinny got taken for a sucker (and then got his own back when Izzy dumped him and then called him to get him back), and Grant played with fire with the questionably stable Lace, Nick acted like a grown up throughout, even in the face of huge provocation from arch rival and massive douche-bag pizza monster Josh.

So grown up and boring was Nick, that he actually barely warranted any screen time, and so he played out his seemingly emotionless liason with Jen, only to dump her in the final episode (apparently having already signed up for his own season of the Bachelor).

So now we come to Shifty Nick’s season, a curious choice, because Nick is so shifty he can barely look a girl in the eye for more than three seconds, and when he’s not gazing distractedly into the distance he’s cocking his head on one side like some sort of bearded Lady Diana Spencer.

Honestly I couldn’t give a flying fig if Nick finds his soulmate, but regardless I will be glued to the Bachelor because some of these thirty women will undoubtedly be crazy (I’m betting on Josephine, who appeared in the first episode dressed as some kind of porn fantasy Nurse), and I can’t wait for the moment when it inevitably comes out that Liz has not only met Shifty Nick before, but shagged him and then blew him off when he asked for her number. Classic. Then there’s Hailey the token fruit-bat Canadian, Christen, who confusingly looks like the last Bachelorette Jojo (but not as good looking) and Corrine, who defied first episode etiquette and snogged Nick during the first cocktail party.

Yes indeedy, this has all the makings of a classic series of The Bachelor, though truthfully it has some way to go to live up to Kaitlyn’s epic season of trials and tribulations (including that moment in the bathroom with Shifty Nick).

Video of the year…

Things are slowly getting back to ‘normal’, or rather a new normal I suppose with one less parent. I haven’t really felt like posting much lately, in fact to be honest I’m kind of feeling like I would quite like to get this year over with and make a fresh start on Jan 1st 2017.

I’ve never been a great fan of Christmas or new year, but at least this new year should be okay as we will be spending it with friends at their house so it will be a nice chilled evening.

Things have been getting back to normal in the bedroom as well, and Mistress last three orgasms have been nice and hard, this afternoon’s in particular seemed very intense and afterwards Mistress allowed me to worship her ass with my tongue, which got me very close to coming indeed! Fortunately she stopped just as I was about to warn her off, and when I told her how close I had got she told me that I would just have to wait as she didn’t want to let me cum yet. Mmmm. 🙂

As it’s getting near the end of the year I thought I would have a look and see what I thought was the best video I’ve posted this year. Well I haven’t posted that many videos this year but it’s quite easy to pick a winner and that is………..

BBC Trainer for Wife and Cuckold