You may have gathered from my recent posts that I have not been feeling well recently. Well, for probably the last month or so. I really have no clue what the hell is wrong with me but it’s getting really old now, I had an ECG and a blood test but so far nothing has shown up and I’m having a 24 hour heart monitor in a couple of weeks.
Some days I feel slightly better than others and Thursday I felt a little better, but yesterday I felt worse again. We planned to go out with our friends and I didn’t feel bad enough to call it off and it was a good night all round. We went to bed at a reasonably early 1:30am and when we got into bed Mistress and I cuddled up. You may remember my post about last time we stayed over at our friends house, which was the start of a couple of weeks when I was rock hard all the time – well, not ALL the time, but every time I was hard I was really, really hard. That was a great teasing session!
Mistress had had a fair amount of wine and was obviously feeling frisky, she grabbed my cock which was already quite hard and started stroking it, for my part I was just happy to be hard without a cock ring given recent days, but then Mistress started to pull me on top of her as if she wanted me inside her. This threw me a bit, because a) I didn’t really expect it and b) because I didn’t really think Mistress would want me to do that in someone else’s house – I mean, last time I can remember us having ‘actual’ sex in a hotel room Mistress spent half the time trying to stop the headboard banging against the wall…
But I felt reasonably hard, and I thought ‘Well, why not?’. Last time we were there our friends mentioned that the walls are so thick in their very old house that they couldn’t hear anything, so game on! Unfortunately Mistress was still wearing her panties and in the time it took to (rather clumsily) get them off… I kinda lost it a bit aaaaand that was the end of that.
Obviously, not being at home there wasn’t the option of slipping on a cock ring – not that that’s necessarily a quick and easy solution anyway. I guess because these situations arise so rarely (generally speaking) it never occurs to me until later to stroke my cock and keep it hard while I’m trying to get inside Mistress. Of course, now I remember that in his book Ron Jeremy talks about ‘the grip’, basically gripping your cock at the base while attempting entry (not unlike a cock ring in fact) and that’s without a doubt what I should have done. Seriously, if Ron Jeremy gives you advice about sex you should probably take it!
As you can imagine I didn’t go to sleep feeling very chipper. Mistress was totally lovely about it all things considered, but nothing she could say was really going to make me feel better… it’s not just that I was disappointed, but the fact that she wanted me inside her and I couldn’t do it again. Mistress apologised for putting pressure on me, but I hate that she has to feel like wanting me to penetrate her is ‘putting pressure on me…’ even if I am feeling less than 100%… it’s just miserable!
I really don’t know what it is about us, we just really don’t seem to have very much luck with spontaneity. Truth be told we aren’t terribly spontaneous people generally (that’s a massive understatement actually…) and every time we try and be ‘spontaneous’ it seems to backfire somehow. Which kinda sucks, but there you are…
Anyway, the next morning we woke up about 7:30 and after a bit of snoozing I turned over and cuddled against Mistress R and she felt my cock pressing against her leg. She reached down and started stroking me and I was rock hard. Mistress stroked me for quite a long time and I was solid throughout – which felt amazing. That’s got to be the hardest I’ve been without a cock ring in the last month, easily. And I stayed hard for ages, but unfortunately, for whatever reason Mistress wasn’t eager to try again.
Maybe it was because she didn’t want to risk being disappointed again – fair enough, I can’t blame her for that. Maybe she didn’t want to risk me being disappointed again, or maybe she didn’t feel the same about our surroundings now the alcohol had worn off. Especially since we didn’t know when our friends would be getting up and walking past our room – at least last night once they went to bed we knew they were staying in their room at the other end of the house because they have an en suite bathroom.
Of course I loved being so hard this morning, especially since being that hard without a cock ring has been a struggle of late, and if Mistress hadn’t teased me so wonderfully I’m sure today wouldn’t have been as enjoyable as it has been, but obviously I still feel bad for her and annoyed with myself. But maybe because we’re a bit older and a bit wiser and we’ve been through all this before and come out the other side, we’re both a bit more relaxed about it than we used to be. There’s really no use ruining your weekend over something you can’t really do anything about. It’s frustrating as hell but sometimes you just have to take this sort of thing on the chin (as much as you can anyway) and hope it gets better sooner rather than later.
And besides, being so hard this morning has given me a confidence boost and as it happens Mistress and I were planning our next Femdom session tomorrow anyway… which means if Mistress wants me inside her she should have plenty of opportunity to do so. I don’t know whether I’ll get to cum inside her or not, or whether I’ll get to cum at all… somehow I doubt it, I did have a perfectly ruined orgasm the other day after all – but Mistress is unpredictable sometimes, so you just never know.
As you would expect, having blood tests and heart monitoring does rather inspire you to make an effort in the weight loss department, and this last couple of weeks have been pretty productive in that area. I’ve lost 5lbs in the last twelve days and done a LOT of exercise/weights too. My clothes are already feeling looser and I’m really hoping to shift between 21 and 28lbs before Christmas. Mistress recently bought me a very cool Ted Baker shirt and I need to lose a bit of belly to be able to wear it and I definitely want to wear it soon!
And obviously losing weight can’t do any harm when it comes to keeping my cock hard either, so all the more reason to keep pushing onwards!